I Will Not Blush
by journey21
Summary: When you have seven kids under seventeen all living in the same house, things are bound to get awkward. In this story we will explore what the Flock and the Martinez' experience of the "joys" of being a teen. Meant only for bravest of women and men!
1. Chapter 1

"I can't believe you just asked me that," I said. His face began to lose what little color it previously had and the smirk fell a little. Our conversation was going just fine and then he popped a question like that. _Okay, you are Maximum freakin' Ride. You've fended off Erasers, Flyboys, and even Gazzy after Bean Burrito Fridays. You can't be intimidated by one boy's teasing (no matter _how_ attractive that boy may be) _I thought to myself. I decided to just come out with the answer. If he could be blunt, so could I.

"No, Fang. I am not currently wearing a bra," I piped "Did you want to cop a feel to check or do you have any more personal questions for me?" Mr. Smooth had no reply, just a gulp, so I patted his cheek a little harder than necessary and said, "That's what I thought. Now, I'm going to go to bed, and in the morning we'll resume a non-awkward pace with the rest of the Flock. Goodnight, Fang." I then turned from him and walked into the house smiling.

I took the stairs to get to the room I shared with Ella, Nudge, and Angel and continued to bask in my little victory. The look on his face was priceless, caught somewhere between mortification and disbelief. Just try to embarrass me, Fang, and see whose feathers get ruffled! None can fluster the Great Maximum Ride! I opened the door to find three giggling girls that should have been sleeping.

"All right, ladies. Back to bed. You're lucky I'm in a good mood, or else you'd be getting a talkin' to right about now." I said with a smile still playing at my lips. "Did Fang kiss you? Is that why you're in a good mood? Because you know usually if you caught us up, you'd be all RAWR! but you're not right now. He must have kissed you," said the ever-talkative Nudge. "Not that it's any of your business, but I can assure you he didn't kiss me, Nudge," I defended. "No, you kissed him before he got a chance. I'll bet she attacked him as soon as they reached the back patio," chirped Ella. "No they didn't kiss each other, but Fang seems to think they had an interesting conversation," Angel added. The girls crowed in delight and demanded answers. I gave Angel a look that said you squeal, I'll kill you. She grinned but kept her mouth shut. "Alright, go to sleep!" I shouted above them. They all disappointedly quieted down and got comfortable in their bunks. I took the open bottom bunk beneath Ella and sighed. We all happily fell asleep.

* * *

The next morning I woke up staring at Ella's lavender walls as the sun peeked in through the window. I quietly escaped the sheets and walked to the bathroom. The door was closed. Just as I was about to knock Iggy opened the door.

"Oh hey, Max," he greeted with a smile. "Hey, Igs," I replied. He looked like he was going to say something but was hesitant. Then he said, "I'm probably gonna' regret asking you this, but what did you and Fang do last night? Gazzy said he couldn't stop smiling when he came to bed." I grinned to myself and said, "I really have to pee." He jumped out of my way and said sorry. After I closed the door on him he said, "So really, what'd you do?" I face-palmed and shouted, "Iggy, not now. Go ask him if you're that curious." Thankfully he left after that.

**Hello! I have a feeling that I'll really have fun with this story. I'm actually going to continue it rather than create yet another one shot. That means that I'll have to have some exterior input. That means I'm counting on you! Review, review, review! Thank you.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The rest of our day went relatively smooth. That is until Angel asked the question. _Any question but that one. For the love all that is holy, ask me any other question than that, Angel! What is sex? What is sex? How __do I explain this? She's too young for this. _I'm_ too young for this!_ "Um… Well, where did you hear that word?" I sputtered. "It was on the TV." She responded. I then had a brilliant idea. "Why don't you go ask Fang about it?" I suggested. She jumped up exclaiming, "Okay!" and ran upstairs to talk to him.

It took a few minutes but then I finally heard his reaction. A loud "WHAT?" roared from Fang's bedroom. I then heard two pairs of feet running down the stairs. Fang drug Angel to the living room. When they found me on the couch both had expressions of anger on their faces. Angel yelled, "Let go of my wrist, Fang!" "Oh sorry," he said and released her.

He whipped his head to face me and hissed, "You!" I gave him an innocent smile as Angel crossed her arms. "If someone doesn't tell me what sex is right now I'm going to look it up on the computer." "No!" Fang and I simultaneously insisted. "Can't you wait until Dr. Martinez gets home?" I pleaded. "Nope, I wanna know now. I'll ask Iggy if I have to," she threatened. I yelled no at the same time Fang said okay. I shot him a glare and said, "Can I talk to you privately for a second." He rolled his eyes but agreed. I told Angel to give us a minute.

"What were you thinking when you told her to ask _me _about sex?" Fang femininely screeched. "You think _I _want to tell her?" I defended. "Well, you're the woman. It's your job!" he cried. "Oh hell no! You're not getting out of this one," I informed him, "And just what were you think when you said Iggy could tell her? I mean really Fang, Iggy? Even you could do a better job than him!" "If he tells her that means I don't have to! Isn't that the same thing _you_ did, Miss Shove It on to Fang?" he countered. "True, very true," I admitted, "Well, we should quit stalling and get this over with." He gave me a defiant look but walked back to the living room with me.

"Okay, Angel. Maybe you should sit down for this," I started with Fang shifting uncomfortably beside me. She sat down on the couch, picked up the remote lazily, and said, "Forget it, Max. I've lost interest, but I am, however, very interested in some ice cream. Do you think you could make that happen?" I gave Fang an incredulous look and said, "You heard the woman! Get her some ice cream." Relief flashed across his face then he scrambled to the kitchen. "Get me some, too, please," I shouted after him. I sat down next to Angel and sighed. Thank God, crisis averted.

Fang walked back into the living room with two bowls of ice cream. Angel and I thanked him and I asked him where his bowl was. "Right here," he said in a "duh" tone. "Where's mine?" I demanded. "Max, I may be your second in command and I may be your boyfriend, but I am not your slave," he said and took a bite from what was supposed to be my ice cream. I stared at him in disbelief and then went to the kitchen. On way out I told him over my shoulder, "No kisses for you!"

**There it is. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. I need feedback! Thank you!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After the evening's excitement with Angel and few minor incidents, Fang "decided" to put the girls to bed and I was helping the guys. He's such a sucker; all it took was the combined bambi eyes from the girls and he was sold. All I had to do was sit and watch Gazzy and Iggy get ready for bed.

Gazzy was brushing his teeth in the bathroom, which left Iggy and I sitting in the bunks. "So… I hear you don't wear bras, Max," Iggy said with a mischievous grin. I barely stuttered a "What?" _Did I just hear him correctly?_ He continued, "Yeah, I asked Fang like you told me to this morning. He told me he found out you weren't wearing a bra last night. Now how would he have possibly found that out, Max? The male mind rolls in the possibilities, you know."

"For your information, I do wear them, just not when I'm going to bed, pervert," I said hotly. I was ready to sock him in the gut when Gazzy came back. "You are so lucky," I spat. Gazzy climbed to his bunk above Ig's bed and asked, "Max, what do you and Fang talk about all the time?" Iggy snickered and I kneed him under Gazzy's bunk while still facing Gazzy. "We talk about nothing. Goodnight Gaz." I said exasperated. I started to leave the room when Iggy fake whined, "What about my goodnight?" I slammed the door.

I just about jumped when I turned around to find Fang standing in front of me. "What was that about?" he asked obliviously. "Nothing," I replied curtly, "I'm going to bed." "What, no talking?" he asked. "I think it's better for you that I don't talk right now."

"Okay then," he said then leaned in to kiss me. I turned my head away and his kiss landed awkwardly on my ear. He pulled back looking confused. I smirked and said, "What? Did you think I was kidding about the ice cream? No kisses for you!" He scowled and said, "You know, you're being very cruel." I smiled and told him goodnight.

**Okay, I'm sorry this is so short, but I working on length! I also have an important question. Are you guys offen****ded by cussing? I have a feeling that these next few chapters might be difficult to write without them. Let me know. Thanks! :****D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Quick shout out to all my reviewers: You hol****d a special place in my heart. Seriously, you guys make my day (my whole week, actually). If you don't have an account, get one! I can't communicate very well if you remain anonymous. Any who, I'll shut up now. ;)**

**Oh shoot, I keep forgetting the disclaimer! Well, I'm pretty sure James Patterson isn't five feet tall, so that must mean I'm not him…**

Chapter 4

The next day after lunch and much debate, the rest of the Flock and Ella decided we would play a classic game of baseball in the backyard. Once all the trash was talked and the bases were located we split up into teams. The boys immediately banded together which left them three against four but they were sure they could "handle a few girls". I was going to have the girls take it easy on them but all of a sudden felt no need to hold them back (it could have also been the score to be settled between Iggy and I).

The boys, claiming to be gentlemen, let us ladies bat first. Our line up went Angel, Nudge, Ella, and then yours truly. Iggy caught for Fang and Gazzy covered the field. Angel walked up to home base and delicately tapped it twice with the bat. She grinned at Fang and he lightly tossed her the ball. She swung and missed. Her second swing hit, but it made a fowl (did you catch the pun?). Her third swing hit the sweet spot and she ran all the way to third before Gazzy got to the ball. The girls clapped for her and she curtsied for us.

Nudge was up next. She took her time in digging her feet into place and getting her "grrr face on", chatting the whole time. Iggy warned her Fang would pitch fast and she scoffed. Rightfully so because her first swing got her to second base and Angel home safe. Point one for the girls.

Ella was smiling as she sauntered to bat. Fang pitched her a curve and she missed. The boys snickered. Her smile fell, and she composed a serious glare for Fang. She then proceeded to hit a homerun. She jogged around the bases and received high fives from us as she came home. Points two and three for the girls. The boys scowled.

After we girls finished celebrating excessively, I picked up the bat and assumed what I thought was a good stance. Fang got a wicked glint in his eyes as Iggy gave him a hand signal that neither knew the meaning of. I felt like laughing but fought for concentration. Fang's pitch whizzed past me and I frowned. I swung at the second pitch, but it flew by me anyways. After Iggy called strike three, I stood fuming until everyone had switched places but me. I walked to the outfield with Angel. She tried to comfort me but I shook my head and watched Ella practiced throwing a pitch to Nudge. Let me just say that the girl pitches like a lightning strike. I wouldn't have been able to see it if not for the DNA enhanced vision.

The boys' batting order went Iggy, Gazzy, Fang and then whoever was free would bat again. Despite his blindness, Iggy hit the ball and made second base. Angel and I exchanged impressed looks once she returned the baseball to Ella. Gazzy looked like he was going to strike out but after much encouragement from Iggy and Fang hit the ball on his third swing. He got Iggy home and barely made it to second, much to Angel's disdain. Point one for the boys.

Fang walked up to the left side of the plate. "What are you doing?" Ella asked. He said only, "Pitch already." Her first pitch was a little too high, but she soon got back into the rhythm of things again. Of course, Mr. Rock just had to hit a freakin' homerun. Point two and three for the boys. As he ran past me he winked and said, "That one was for you." Caught somewhere between shame for my own inadequacy and pride because my boyfriend just hit a homerun, I opted for an indignant expression. He was my opponent after all.

It was kind of pointless for Iggy to bat again because the bases were empty and he would be their last hitter. As I predicted, no more points for the boys that inning. The score was now tied three-three. We switched places again, keeping the same positions and line up. We scored two more points by the time it was my turn. I eyed Ella on third and turned to stare at Fang determinedly. The way his eyebrows rose showed his obvious pleasure. I tightened my grip on the bat, and swung a strike not once, not twice, but three times. I flung the bat backwards and said, "Oh come on!" I continued to boil in my failure until I noticed everyone staring at me.

Actually, they were all staring at Iggy on the ground groaning and clutching his -ahem- you know. I winced and went to see if he was going to live. "I'm really sorry, Ig. That was completely unintentional!" I insisted, though I couldn't help but smile. His response was a high-pitched screech. Angel looked horrified as she watched him writhe in the grass. I picked up the bat and turned to the Flock and a very amused Ella. "There is a place on every boy that you should never hit. Only hit there if you are suddenly attacked because I imagine it hurts a lot. Here lies exhibit A," I poked at Iggy with the bat for good measure as I preached. I got a few solemn nods but mostly we stared at our fallen comrade.

Fang finally reached down and helped Iggy to his feet. After everyone dispersed, I whispered to Iggy, "You know normally I would feel terrible, but after your comments last night I have no remorse." He stared at me open mouthed then said, "Okay, maybe I deserved some payback, but getting jacked in the jewels is cruel and unusual punishment!" I shrugged and jogged to right field.

We played until Mom came home from the vet clinic. Girls won twenty-four to sixteen. I even scored two points! Okay, so maybe baseball isn't my forte. On the plus side Fang eventually taught me how to swing. Can't say I minded it at all. In addition to that, today I learned that my boyfriend is ambidextrous and my half sister's softball team won state championships three years in a row. Go Ella.

There it is. I kind of like this chapter. It must be because I was wearing my Writer's Socks when I wrote it. You know the gray ones with the red poms at the top? Yeah, those. Review, please! Thanks.


	5. Chapter 5

The previous day's game of baseball had taken a lot out of me, so just waking up the next morning proved to be a small feat. I trudged my way to the bathroom feeling like utter crap. Sure enough, it turned out to be that time of the month. I huffed at the inconvenience as a cramp hit me. For a while I just sat there with my head hung low and eyes closed and wondered exactly how much chocolate I would scarf to feel like myself again. Then my day got exponentially worse.

I whipped my head up as I heard heavy footsteps rush down the hall. I yelped out a "Hey!" as the bathroom door flew open and Fang came in. He looked panicked as he took in me sitting on the toilet.

"Fang get out!" I demanded.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and said, "What? You're not dieing?"

"No, get out!" I repeated. He shuffled out and shut the door. I heard him lean against the other side of the door and sag to the floor. After a few deep breaths to calm myself I asked, "Fang, what the hell was that?"

He stayed silent for a long while then explained in a strained voice, "Angel, comes into my room bawling and going on about how you were in pain and bleeding in the bathroom. I thought you were attacked or something I bust in there just now to find you going to the bathroom. Now would _you _care to explain what just happened?"

Not sure of how to handle this whole ordeal I broke out in hysterical laughter. I could just imagine the thoroughly confused look that must have been on his face. "Fang, I'm not dieing, though right now I swear it feels like it. It's just that time of the month." No sound came from the other side of the door, so I continued, "You know, 'Tom' is in town? Aunt Pearl is visiting? Mother nature has given me my monthly gift? Oh, for the love of God, Fang! I'm having my period."

"Oh. Oh!" I could hear him finally understanding. I quickly washed my hands and opened the door, sure that I could face him now. I looked down into his eyes then stepped back and slammed the door on him. It was easier when I didn't have to look at him. He got up and knocked lightly then turned the knob. I avoided eye contact for as long as I could.

He cleared his throat and said, "This is all super embarrassing, and I'd like to apologize for that. I promise I'll knock next time I think you're dieing in the bathroom." He grinned sympathetically and wrapped me in a hug.

I let loose a breath and relaxed in his arms. I said nothing but looked up into his eyes. He had that look he always gets on his face before we kiss. Like a kid about to get some cotton candy or an adult about to receive their paycheck, kind of greedy, but genuinely excited.

I smiled to myself and meet his lips. I was enjoying myself until I remembered the reason we were both in the bathroom.

"Where's Angel?" I asked against his mouth.

"In my room," he replied and grabbed my hand. We walked to his bedroom where Iggy, Gazzy, and Angel laid in the bunk beds.

"Thank God, she's asleep!" I whispered fiercely. "What do we tell her when she gets up?" He didn't get a chance to answer. Angel stirred and yawned loudly. She looked up at Fang and I still holding hands and cocked an eyebrow.

"You're not dead. That's good. Must've been a nightmare… Why am I in Fang's bed?" she asked.

"You were right about the nightmare. Don't you remember coming in here last night?" Fang lied smoothly. I just nodded my head and smiled big at her.

"Oh, well, I'm still tired, so I'm gonna go back to bed," and she stretched out and did just that. I glanced over at the clock, which read 4:21.

"I don't think I'm welcome in my own bed," Fang pouted.

I rolled my eyes and said, "Mom's already at work, so you can have her bed."

I grabbed his hand and lead him to Mom's room fully intending on leaving him there and go to my own bed. Fang had other plans. He wouldn't let go of my hand dragged me into the room when I told him no. I fought him as he picked me up threw me on the bed. He grinned from above me and then kissed me. My hands went up from their place on his biceps to his black hair.

Roughly ten minutes later we were settled in the bed, facing each other. I stared into his eyes and said, "You know, we really are strange. The sun's not up and we've already both thoroughly embarrassed each other." He grinned and pecked me on the nose.

"I think I like it that way," he replied and pulled me closer. I quickly fell asleep in his arms.

Okay, there she be. You asked for juicy, and I (not knowing what constitutes as "juicy") attempted to give you juicy. You should show your deep gratitude by reviewing! (At least tell me what was wrong with the chapter.)


	6. Chapter 6

_Tap-tap._

Dear God, what unholy hour is this?

_Tap. Tap-tap._

I dragged my eyes open with my fingers, only to find one blind, smiling bird-kid poking my forehead.

"What the heck, Iggy?" I demanded and tried to get out of bed. I looked down at a set of tan arms imprisoning me.

"You're lucky I fended off the little ones. They'd have a heyday with this scene. What could these two hormonal teens possibly be doing in the same bed?" Iggy goaded. In attempt to kindly get Fang to release his unconscious hold on me, I gently shook him.

Meanwhile, Iggy continued with his monologue, jumping to abstinence and advising us to "always use the glove!" Quickly growing impatient, I slapped Fang right across his beautiful face. His hand flew up to his cheek and he complained, "Jesus, Max. You sure know how to treat a guy."

I rolled my eyes only then noticing that the clock read 11:48. "Crap, Mom gets home for lunch at noon!" I realized and shoved Fang out of the warm bed. Of course, his weight tugged the blankets I was wrapped in, resulting in another compromising situation. I fought the urge to turn an unflattering shade of red and cleared my throat.

Fang then realized we weren't alone in the room and amiably asked, "Hey Iggy, care to lend a helping hand?"

"Much obliged," he replied.

Once the three of us were properly upright I scrambled out of the room, hoping to look normal, if not presentable when my mother came home. I hurriedly got dressed in my room where the girls looked at me with suspecting eyes from their bunk beds. I tried to ignore them and ran to the bathroom in search of a comb.

There, I found Fang with a mouthful of toothpaste, which he graciously displayed with a sarcastic grin. He spat in the sink and told me to relax.

I heard a car door shut and ran down the stairs to greet Mom. In the kitchen, she eyed me with an eyebrow cocked. She told me a glamorous tale of how at work a cat was dieing in her arms and how she heroically reached her hand down its throat and freed the hairball that was lodged in it.

"I'm gonna go change now," she then informed me.

As she left Iggy and Fang joined me in the kitchen. I let out a puff of pent up air and smiled at my boys.

"You flip over the silliest things," Iggy commented.

I was about to reply when Dr. Martinez came back down with two feathers in hand, one brown and one pitch black. I gave her my best innocent face, and she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Care to explain why I found these in my bed?" she asked.

I shot Fang a pleading look, but I should have known I'd find no help there.

"It's not what it seems," I insisted. "Fang and I were… making your bed!" I offered.

"Is that why my blankets are scattered across my room? Is that why your shirt is on backwards and Fang's fly is unzipped? Because really Max, the conclusion I'm coming to is not one I like." Mom patiently pointed out. Iggy promptly slipped out of the room. Deserter!

"Okay, yeah, we were in your bed, but I promise nothing like what you're thinking happened! Scout's honor," I said and nudged Fang for confirmation.

"Huh? Oh yeah, nothing happened. Nothing ever happens. I mean not that I want to, or pressure Max to. Uh, yeah, I'll just shut up now…" Fang sputtered. Mom just looked at us with exhausted eyes.

"You're lucky I trust you, Max." she started, "I have to head back to work, but don't worry. This conversation is not over." She then gave a tight smile and grabbed her keys.

Only after her car left, did I move. Ella and Iggy crept into the room with nervous grins on their faces.

"What did you two do? Mom looked pissed!" Ella so helpfully interjected.

Iggy slapped a hand over her mouth and ushered her into the living room where the others sat watching cartoons.

I turned to Fang and just stared at him for a couple of minutes. "Nothing ever happens!" I quoted.

"We were making her bed!" he quipped. I couldn't help but smile.

"I can't believe she didn't kill us," I said.

"She still has tonight for that, Maxie," he teased.

I'm sure I appeared okay on the outside, but inside I was suffering some serious shock and mortification.

**There it is. I hoped you enjoyed. Even if you didn't, review! **


	7. Chapter 7

"Did you know you drool?" Fang teased.

"Yeah, but at least I don't talk in my sleep. You say more when you're passed out than when you're awake," I lied. His face momentarily drained of color.

"What did you hear?" he asked, failing to sound relaxed.

Never one to pass up an opportunity to make Fang uncomfortable, I told him, "Everything."

He got up from the couch we were sitting on together and made to leave. I grabbed his wrist and laughed.

"I was kidding!" I assured him.

"You're evil," he accused playfully and sat back down.

My curiosity was getting the best of me so I asked, "What were you dreaming, Fang?"

He looked down at his hands bashfully and said nothing.

Knowing what he must have been dreaming about, I just grinned and said, "I dream about you, too." He looked up with a smile and leaned into me for a quick kiss. We laced our fingers together and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"She'll be home soon," I reminded Fang. We had been sitting around the house since lunchtime silently worrying about what Mom would do. I've only known her for a few years, but she's always seemed rational. Maybe she wouldn't ax us like Fang was convinced. He reasoned that if I found out Ella slept with a boy I'd be murderous. It's true; I'd probably castrate the guy, but that's beside the point.

Fang and I are sixteen. We've known each other since we were little bird babies in the School. It's not the first time we've ever slept with each other. It was necessary for warmth back when we were on the run. I just hope Mom sees that we haven't done what she must be thinking. We are _not_ ready for that kind of step in our relationship.

The sound of the garage door opening snapped me out my thoughts.

Fang and I looked at each other and he said, "Deep breaths." I gave him the smile of martyr and we headed for the kitchen.

Mom was already sitting at the table. Fang moved farther from my side. I think it was because of the chilling look Mom gave us.

"Max, Fang, please sit," she said and gave an eerie smile. We did so as she folded her hands in front of her on the table.

"I'll be straight with you. I have little experience in dealing with situations like this. I thought about this for a long while, and I've made my decision. I think the best course of action would be to do nothing. I'd say your few hours at home proved to be sobering judging by the looks on your faces," she chuckled.

"God, you two are too intense. Relax, I trust you. I also trust that we won't see a repeat of this situation," she then paused and looked at Fang.

"Ah Fang, if I didn't know and love you, you'd be on my operating table getting neutered right now. Lucky for you," she said. "Oh, and if you ever have sex with my daughter I won't need hybrid genes to kick your ass." Fang gulped and she continued, "I'm glad we understand each other."

She let out a breath and spoke, "This day has been so long. I'm gonna go shower. Could you ask Iggy to make something Italian for supper?"

I nodded my head quickly and she smiled seemingly innocently then trudged upstairs.

I slowly turned in my chair to face Fang. He looked like he'd just seen a ghost. He suddenly started patting his head and the rest of his body. He looked up at me as if he had just noticed me and said, "Oh my god, I'm alive. You're alive. She didn't kill us!" He jumped up from his chair and was about to hug me but he hesitated.

"No offense, but I'm probably not going to be touching you any time soon. Your mother is terrifying!" he explained.

"That's all right. I was thinking the same," I answered and smiled. I still couldn't believe she didn't do anything.

Fang went to Iggy about supper and I went to the girls' bedroom to try and fully process what had just happened.

Ella was the only one in there grinning from one of the top bunks when I entered the room. I quietly climbed the ladder to sit next to her.

"I can tell she gave you the Martinez treatment. I swear Mom should patent that and sell the strategy to other parents across the globe. She'd make billions!" she exclaimed.

I just stared at her for a second then started, "She didn't even ground us."

"It's effective. I bet you'll never make the same mistake again. Once she caught me making out with this guy on the front porch, and so she sat us down and gave us this short speech about trust and threatened to castrate the guy! He never spoke to me again, but, eh, it's his loss," she chirped.

I digested this and said, "She's a genius. An evil genius."

Ella and I burst out laughing and couldn't stop until after we were done crying.

Later at supper we all sat down (Fang and I at opposite ends of the table) and pretended nothing had happened. My mother is the most diabolical force I've ever met. I have much respect for the woman.

* * *

**There it is. I apologize for taking so long to post this, but I am fully satisfied with this chapter. Please review so I know what you think of it!**


	8. Chapter 8

It had been about a week since what Ella fondly referred to as "the Incident" occured. Fang and I still haven't been able to touch each other for fear of the wrath of my mother. Not that either of us wasn't tempted. Each sidelong glance Fang gave made me want to kiss him in front of everyone. I caught him stopping himself from reaching out for me more than once. Finally I got fed up.

"Just kiss me already!" I exclaimed while we were passing each other in the hallway.

"Max, I want to, but your Mom," he said.

"C'mon Fang, grow a pair. She's not even here."

"Easy for you to say. It's not your genitals at stake!"

"Fine, then you can blame me for this," I said and practically attacked his lips with mine.

I pushed him against the wall and he hit it with a thud. He was still being cautious, but at least he was responding. He pulled away for a second, looked up and down the hall, and returned his mouth to mine happy that no one was watching.

I rested my hands on his lean chest as he placed his on my hips.

I was vaguely aware of pounding on the other side of the wall. Fang must have heard it too because he dragged us down to the cramped linen closet, never breaking contact. I shut the door and we continued.

Do you know how demanding teenage hormones can be? Imagine those hormones with Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome dangling right in front of you. Yeah, not being able to satisfy those cravings for a whole week had been hell.

A few minutes later we heard a knock at the door. Fang jumped as far from me as he could in the little space we had. He was petrified, so I (apparently being the only one with a brain) grabbed a bed sheet from the shelf and handed Fang a towel. I muttered 'idiot' under my breath and opened the door.

There I found two amused bird children. Gazzy looked at Nudge and said, "They were making out, weren't they?"

Nudge looked at the shaken Fang behind me for confirmation and said, "I'd say so, Gaz."

I set my face on an indifferent smile and said, "I have no idea where you got that idea, but I'm going to go change my sheets." I then walked away from them to my room.

I rolled my eyes when heard Fang stumble over the excuse of taking a shower.

I stretched out on my bed and smiled. Finally I had gotten what I'd been wanting for a week.

**There she be. Sorry about the length, but don't fret. I'm working on the next chapter right now. I just wanted to get this one posted first. Please review, my little darlings and THANK YOU! if you've reviewed before!**


	9. Chapter 9

I didn't get much time to bask in my satisfaction because minutes later Nudge joined me in our room. She sat thoughtfully at the foot of my bottom bunk.

"What's it like when Fang kisses you?" Nudge asked seriously.

"Oh, wow. Um…" I grappled for words but came up empty.

"I just wanted to know because I've never been kissed by a boy, you know. And I don't know if I ever will because of the wings. I just thought maybe you could tell me," she explained. Her eyebrows pulled together and she looked like she was about to cry.

I opened my arms for her and said, "Hey, come here. Nudge, if _I _can find a boyfriend, I have no doubt that you can. In fact, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to fight off the boys. 'Cause you know, you're the kind of girl every guy likes. You're bright, out-going, and funny. Not to mention you're freakin' beautiful. No doubt about it. You'll find the perfect guy when you're old enough." I assured.

"Really?" she sniffed.

I nodded my head and gave her a tight hug. "But no boys for a while, okay? They're still icky."

She laughed and said, "Thanks, Max."

We both stood up then, not quite sure what to do after our little heart to heart. I headed towards the living room to see what was up. Fang was lying on the couch with the laptop typing something.

We nodded at each other and I grabbed the remote. I settled in and scanned the channels. There was nothing interesting on T.V., so I turned to my boyfriend. I prodded him with my foot.

"Entertain me," I demanded bluntly.

He looked at me over the computer with raised eyebrows. "Have Gazzy do that depressed whale impression. I'm busy," he said and went back to typing.

I sighed and stared at the blank T.V. screen for a few minutes. I soon grew _very _bored of this, so I decided to annoy Fang.

"So… whatcha doin'?" I asked.

"None of your business," he answered still not looking at me.

I rolled my eyes then resolved to continuously poke Fang with my toe. I'll give him credit; he has a ton of patience. He didn't react for ten whole minutes. I paused for a while then poked him once more.

He shut the laptop then lunged at me. I started laughing hysterically as he chased me around the living room.

I picked up a couch pillow and tossed it at his head. It hit him square in the face. He grabbed the pillow and launched it at me as I ran away. It missed.

I ran down the hall into the girls' room for back up, listening to the running footsteps that seemed to enter the boys' room.

"Okay ladies," I began, "I estimate we have two minutes before our enemy busts in here with full artillery." I paused for dramatics then said, "You know what to do."

The girls all grabbed their bed pillows and climbed the bunks to get the height advantage. They hid themselves with two massive comforters and quieted their giggling. I silently slipped behind the bedroom door, careful to avoid the noisy floorboards.

A few seconds later I saw the doorknob turn slowly. The door gradually swung open with an eerie creak.

The three boys stole into the room looking everywhere but behind them where I hid. I slammed the door shut with my foot and assaulted Fang with my pillow. The girls whipped off the comforters yelling as they attacked the boys from their high perches.

Gazzy screamed out, "Ambush!" and dove to avoid the pillow his sister had swung at him.

The boys were outnumbered, but holding on. Angel and Nudge covered Gazzy, Ella got Iggy, and I was fighting Fang. His face was alive with the fun of our epic battle as he swung and finally hit me. It landed on my cheek, causing my head to twist as if I had been slapped. I whipped my head back and his face sobered when he saw the wicked glint in my eyes. I lashed back like a savage and he fell to the floor partly because he was laughing so hard and partly because I was unrelenting with the blows from my pillow.

"Uncle!" he shouted and I stared down at him with triumph.

I turned to see Nudge and Angel had pinned a hysterical Gazzy down. Ella and Iggy were at a standstill, both of their pillows poised for attack. They simultaneously swung at each other and hit the other's side. They both fell to the floor still thumping each other. They seemed so wrapped up in their playful feud, I don't think they remembered we were there. I quirked an eyebrow at Fang and he shrugged.

Finally Ella noticed everyone was watching them and tapped Iggy on the shoulder. She stood up and he sat up on the floor.

I smirked at her and said, "Finish him off."

She grabbed her pillow and weakly punched him with an embarrassed smile.

I rolled my eyes kiddingly and announced, "Girls win again!"

The boys scowled and we girls celebrated our victory with grace… okay maybe not, but when you're playing for bragging rights, there is no room for modesty.

**There she be! I apologize for not updating sooner. You see, I had semester tests and my brain has been fried by all the anxiety and irrelevant study material. Please be patient with me, dear readers. As always, reviews are _greatly_ appreciated.**


	10. Chapter 10

I lay in my bed, staring at the bunk above me, which held Angel's sleeping body. I glanced over at the digital clock like I had been for the past hour. It read 1:30 A.M. I sighed and pulled back my blanket, suddenly in the mood for a late night snack.

As I walked down the stairs I wondered how much codeine my bird body would require to make me fall asleep. I could hear a cough come from kitchen. I smiled knowing who it would be. Insomnia must be hereditary.

Ella was throwing away whatever she had choked on when I came in. She smiled tiredly at me when she realized I was there.

"Couldn't sleep?" she asked.

"Yeah, my mind won't rest," I explained.

I shrugged and opened the fridge to see what was good to eat. I grabbed a chocolate pudding cup and a spoon and sat at the table across from Ella.

"So…" she said.

I tried to hide my wicked grin before saying, "So you and Iggy, huh?"

Even in dark lighting I could see her olive toned cheeks flame.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she lied poorly.

"Uh huh. You know, you can tell me these things. I am your sister after all. You're denying me my rights by not squealing with me about it."

"I thought you weren't the squealing kind of girl, Max," she joked.

I nodded thoughtfully and said, "True, but I can muster a squeal for my little sister."

She smiled and started enthusiastically, "Alright, yes. I do like Iggy."

I smiled and a quiet scream left my mouth.

Ella rolled her eyes and continued, "I'm not sure if he likes _me_, though."

Then it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"I'm pretty sure your little pillow fight was proof that your crush is reciprocated," I assured her.

She nodded her head and admitted, "That was really fun. We should do it again."

Just then Mom entered the kitchen with a small smile on her face.

"Shouldn't you girls be getting your beauty sleep?" she asked.

Ella answered, "Yeah, I'm really tired. See you guys in the morning."

Mom kissed Ella's forehead as she left the kitchen. She sat down next to me after she grabbed a pudding cup. We snacked together in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

Then she spoke, "I really scared Fang the other day, didn't I?"

I grinned widely and confirmed with a nod. I searched myself for any resentment towards her for it but found nothing. I know if I had been in her position, I wouldn't be as rational as she'd been.

"Could you maybe tell him he doesn't have flinch every time we're in the same room?" she requested.

"I'll let him know." I said.

We both had finished our snacks so we headed to our rooms together. She had her arm around my shoulder. I felt really comfortable with the woman I hadn't even known was my mother until a few years ago.

We reached my room and she kissed my forehead like she did Ella's.

"Goodnight, sweetie."

"Night, Mom." I replied.

As soon as my head hit the pillow I fell asleep.

**Hey guys, I hate excuses for being late but here's mine: I had thishorrible speech competition that has been eating up my weekends. We got a number one rating so far, and we're going on to state. Woo hoo (sarcasm)! Okay, review my loves!**


	11. Chapter 11

Despite getting only a few hours sleep, I was up and at 'em early the next morning. I fondly woke up everybody by yelling in there lazy ears. Just like old times!

I saved Fang for last relishing the rare opportunity of waking him. I crept past the grumbling Iggy and Gazzy in the boys' room to where Fang was uncharacteristically still sleeping in his bed.

I thumbed his black sheets and leaned over to his ear.

"Wake up, sleepy!" I shouted.

He shot up and banged his head on the bottom of the top bunk.

He rubbed his injury and muttered some.

He looked at me accusingly and said, "Are you trying to kill me?"

"If I were, you'd already be dead," I said cockily and turned to escape.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to him.

"So modest," he mumbled as he laid me next to him. He caught sight of the clock over my shoulder and looked at me like I was a crazy person.

"What have you got against sleep?" he asked.

I responded, "Sleeping is a waste of time."

He rolled his eyes then kissed me. I pulled away with a smirk.

"Well, since you're so tired I should go," I said and turned to get out of bed.

He tightened his arms around me and said, "I'm up! I'm up!"

I chuckled and kissed him again.

"Ew, morning breath," I kidded.

He apologized and left to brush his teeth. I followed him out of the room and met everyone in the kitchen. Iggy was making chocolate chip pancakes with the assistance of Ella. How cute.

Careful to hide it from the kids, I winked and swatted her on the butt when I saw her. Her cheeks blushed furiously and she bumped into Iggy.

"I thought I was the blind one," he joked. They grinned at each other and continued their work.

I kissed the tops of Angel and Gazzy's heads. Only then did I realize Nudge wasn't there.

"Where's motor mouth?" I asked Angel.

"In the bathroom," she said then shoveled down a pancake.

I grabbed my numerous pancakes after thanking the gracious cooks. As I was stuffing my face, my concern for Nudge grew. By the time we all had sufficiently gorged our bellies Nudge still hadn't made an appearance.

"I'm gonna go check on Nudge," I informed everyone.

I reached the bathroom door and hesitated. Maybe I was just being silly in thinking something was wrong. Regardless, I knocked.

"You okay, Nudge?" I asked carefully.

She didn't answer for a while but eventually said somberly, "I think you should come in, Max."

I quietly cursed under my breath and entered the bathroom. There sat Nudge on the toilet looking scared.

She looked up at me and said, "I'm dieing, Max."

Taken aback I asked, "What do you mean?"

"There's so much blood."

"Oh my god, Nudge! Where? Is it your stomach?"

"I don't know. Maybe I had some internal bleeding I didn't know about. I went to the bathroom and- and- there's so much blood!" she exclaimed.

Then it dawned on. _My god, I am such an idiot._

"Nudge, that's your period."

"No Max, I feel it in my stomach. I'm gonna die!"

I reached up into the medicine cabinet and grabbed her a Pamprin.

"This will help with the cramps."

She looked somewhat relieved that she was going to live and that in roughly fifteen minutes her pain would be soothed. I went to grab her a tampon and a pad, already making a list of things we would need. Chocolate was at the top of my list, lots and lots of chocolate.

When I opened the cabinet again I couldn't find any of the needed supplies. Anywhere.

I franticly searched the room and found no tampons or pads.

_Oh hell._

**To be continued… don't fret; the wait won't be too long. I just have to get off now because my brother is b- **_**pardon me**_**, whining to get on the computer. Hooray, snow days! Oh, and (feel free to ignore this rant) I am reserving the right to defend myself from certain criticism. I understand that some of you think last chapter was a "filler". I respectfully disagree. Two key events took place: we established Ella's crush on Iggy and Max resolved her resentment towards ****Dr. M over the Incident. Most importantly we learn Max finally feels like she's at home in D****r. M's house. Well, that's three things, but that's be****si****de the point. I'm genuinely thankful for input, but next time perhaps people could simply make a suggestion rather than making unfounded claims because, honestly, I was left to believe said** **reviews were simply a mask for disappointment in the lack of hormone driven Fax. I really do appreciate your guys' reviews, though (even if they do cause me to huff and puff momentarily). As always my loves, review!**


	12. Chapter 12

Okay, bleeding girl and no supplies. _Houston, we have a problem._ I couldn't exactly leave Nudge alone in her misery to go to the store, but she shouldn't have to sit in there all day like that. Then it hit me: _This is why I have a boyfriend._

"I'll be right back," I told Nudge.

I found everyone lounging in the living room watching cartoons. I caught Fang's eye and gestured with my index finger that I needed him to come so we could talk.

"What's up?" he asked once we were alone in the hallway.

"I need a favor."

He looked wary but said, "Sure. What do you need?"

I worked up the most pathetic bambi eyes known to man and said, "I need you to fly to the store and get some tampons and pads." Then I gave an encouraging smile for effect.

He groaned and pleaded, "Can't you do it?"

"Sure, you want to stay in the bathroom with hormonal Nudge?"

He quickly snapped, "No!"

"I'd ask Ella, but she can't drive yet and Mom has the van."

"Fine! I'll do it, but I'm taking Iggy with me!" he stated.

"Thank you!" I said and kissed his cheek.

He grumbled all the way back to Iggy who practically cried when Fang told him about their mission. The boys grabbed their jackets and Fang rolled his eyes at me when I waved as they left.

I asked Ella to keep an eye on Angel and Gazzy who were still engrossed in their cartoons. She agreed and asked no questions.

I ran back to Nudge who looked positively gloomy on the toilet. I tried several times to strike up a conversation, but she wasn't exactly talkative in her current state.

Finally she asked, "Max, why did Eve eat the damn fruit? Couldn't she have eaten a banana from another tree? I mean, really, God said _specifically_, 'Hey, don't eat from that tree there because bad things happen if you do'. What was she thinking?"

I stifled a laugh because she was being completely serious, a rare occasion in and of itself.

"Well, if you believe that sort of thing, she ate it because the devil tricked her," I explained.

"Who's dumb enough to get tricked by a snake?" she questioned.

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. We continued to talk for the next half hour about anything and everything. The topic of conversation ranged from ones like our previous talk to those about our political stances. Turns out Nudge is a zealous democrat. Good girl.

Nudge and I were just beginning to debate the federal budget when I heard the front door open and shut. I excused myself and ran down to get the goods.

I couldn't help but notice Iggy's face was a bright shade of red. Poor boy couldn't hide a blush if he tried. I quickly hugged him in gratitude. I grabbed the bag from Fang and gave him a winning kiss square on the lips. I moved away and thanked them both.

Fang looked at Iggy with what looked like pity and I made a note to myself to ask about that later. I ran back to the bathroom to handle the awkward situation Nudge's misfortune presented.

I entered and gave Nudge a false look of confidence. She returned a look that hinted at her immeasurable excitement for the coming information. Hope you caught the subtle sarcasm.

I began, "This, Nudge, is a tampon. It will be you best friend and worst enemy until you hit menopause…"

**-several hours and embarrassing words later-**

I laid out relaxing on the back porch, watching the night sky for familiar constellations. Mom was reading in her bedroom, winding down from a hectic day at work. The Flock and Ella were asleep in their respective beds, or so I assumed.

I wouldn't have noticed Fang at all if not for the whine of the sliding door. He sat silently by my side then laid down after some coaxing on my part.

We held hands and enjoyed each other's presence for a while. Then I remembered Iggy's intense blush from earlier.

I asked, "Did you say something to embarrass Iggy today? He was blushing something fierce earlier."

Fang gruffly said, "Men don't blush. He must have been winded from our flight."

I moved onto my side and gave him a look that said "I'm not buying your crap".

He returned my look with a steady gaze but eventually cracked.

"Okay. It could have been one of two things. At the store this cashier asked Iggy for a date."

"Was she cute?" I interrupted, trying to hide my dread. I had Ella to think of after all. She would be crushed if Iggy were interested in someone else.

"No," he answered and laughed, "but _he_ was very handsome."

I smacked his side in disbelief and said, "What did Iggy say to him?"

"He told the guy very politely that he had a girlfriend and then we left."

I let his words sink in and then asked Fang suspiciously, "Who is this girlfriend?"

"That's the other that might have embarrassed him. I asked him that on our way back and found out who he likes," he informed.

I sat up, stuck between feeling afraid he liked someone else and hoping intensely that it was Ella.

"And?" I prodded by waving my hand in a "go on" motion.

He smiled up at me and said, "Sorry, I can't tell. I'm pretty sure that violates the guy code."

I gently ran my hand through his dark hair and slowly tightened my hand into a fist.

"You'll be breaking the boyfriend code if you don't tell me immediately," I threatened.

He winced and cried, "I'll tell you! Just let go."

I did so and smiled innocently at him as he sat up on the porch wood. He rubbed his head.

Then he gave me a spiteful glance then whispered, "Ella. He likes your sister."

He peeked at me to gauge my reaction. I guess he was expecting me to be pissed because he seemed surprised by my elation. I guess my fist pumping wasn't so subtle.

"What? Why aren't you freaking out? I mean negatively," he asked.

"This is great! Ella likes him, too!" I shouted before considering that maybe Ella didn't want my boyfriend and one of Iggy's best friends to know she was crushing hard.

"Oh crap," I began, "You have to swear you won't tell Iggy!"

He locked pinkies with me and said, "Relax, I'm not a gossip."

I smiled as he continued, "Seal it with a kiss?"

I released his pinky and locked lips instead. I moved to sit in his lap, facing him.

I have two basic needs. They are as follows: the bare necessities of life and making out with Fang. Something about him makes this hormone filled girl crazy. Maybe it's his attentive his lips that do it.

I was still in a sort of trance when Fang pulled away and cleared his throat. I opened my eyes and looked at him bashfully.

"I should go to bed now," I said quickly.

"Yeah, me too," he replied.

I got up off of him and slipped into the house, not waiting for him to follow. I was still grinning when I made it to my bed.

**There she be. I hope I didn't come across as pissy in my last note. I just wanted to clear the air on the subject, I swear. Any who, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Review, my pretties!**


	13. Chapter 13

We had just finished lunch, so everyone was off on their own adventures. I was left cleaning the remnants of our meal. I may not be able to cook, but I make up for it by doing dishes. I was up to my elbows in suds when Fang came into the kitchen and sat at the table with the laptop.

I decided I deserved a break after all my hard work. I rinsed my hands and dried them on the chicken towel hanging from the nearest drawer. Fang watched me with a hint of a smile as I sat down opposite of him at the table.

"What's up?" I asked.

He went back to typing after mumbling, "Nothing."

My eyebrow subconsciously quirked at his vague answer. Clearly he was doing something on the computer. I knew the answer to my next question was no but I asked anyway.

"Fang, are you watching porn?"

He closed the laptop and stared me down. His look seemed to say _did you really just ask me that_? I kind of really regretted saying anything, but I pretended to be completely comfortable with our conversation and stared right back.

It soon became clear to him that I wasn't going to talk so he said, "Max, I have never watched porn. I will likely never watch it in my lifetime. Do you think I'm some kind of horn dog?"

"Watching porn does not make you a horn dog. I'm not a horn dog and I've watched it before," I told him.

He tilted his head and called me a liar. I'm not a liar. Granted, I only watched it once, and it made me want to puke, but I had watched it. Don't judge me. Porn isn't my cup of tea.

"I wanted to see what the big deal was," I explained.

"I can't believe this," he said, "This is perfect for blackmail." He completed his thought with a mischievous grin.

I mustered my most menacing glare and said, through gritted teeth, "You wouldn't dare."

He chuckled and reasoned, "True, I wouldn't. I would, however, threaten, and that little inkling of doubt in your mind would have you eating right out of my hand."

I stood up swiftly, my chair flying back loudly. He tried to escape because he knew what was coming to him. Unfortunately for him the table had him pinned against the kitchen wall. He broke free only to get stuck in a chokehold by yours truly.

"Max, have mercy!" he gasped out and laughed.

"Swear you won't," I demanded while tightening my hold on the neck I had so often kissed.

"I swear," he said and I released him. I turned my back on him and made my way to the living room. I didn't make it far before I was tackled to the ground. Fang was quick about getting my arms pinned behind me, my face squished to the carpet.

I couldn't help but laugh. Playing around like that felt just like old times in the E house.

"What do you want, Fang?" I barely got out between laughing fits.

He loosened my arms a bit and said, "I can't have you thinking I'm completely defenseless."

I could feel him moving to get up from his position straddling my back when we heard the pair of footsteps coming into the room.

I looked up at Iggy and Ella. Ella had the biggest grin plastered on her face as she whispered what was happening in Iggy's ear.

Iggy snorted and said, "Kinky."

I waited for my sister to defend me. Ella playfully hit his arm, but didn't protest. I was only slightly pissed as I shouted for Fang to get off of me. He mumbled an apology and helped me up. He tried very hard not to smile.

I glared at Ella and asked, "Did you need something?"

She took a minute to think then piped, "Oh yeah, you need to check out Gazzy. I think he's sick."

I turned to Fang and warned, "This is not over." He just continued smirking.

I did my best to leave the room with dignity, but when Iggy snickered as I passed I may or may not have elbowed him in the stomach. Ella followed me to the boys' room.

When I saw Gazzy lying in his bed, I couldn't help but pity him. His face was speckled by hundreds of little red dots.

He groaned and said, "Max, it itches."

Chicken pox. I swore under my breath and told Ella to call Mom at work. She left and I sat by Gazzy on his bed.

"It's gonna be okay, Gasman. Dr. M is gonna make it all better," I promised him. He looked up at me with his blue eyes and gave me a tired smile.

"Is this some kind of joke to mother nature? The bird kid gets chicken pox," he chuckled weakly.

I laughed at his thought and tucked his blankets a little tighter around him. I was so proud my boy kept his humor even when he was sick.


	14. Chapter 14

One week. It'd been one week since Gazzy got the chicken pox. In effort to quarantine the issue, we moved Iggy and Fang to the couch. A fact they'd been excessively bitter about. Sleep on the couch together or get chicken pox? You'd think they would be grateful to not get sick. Except they did. Well, Iggy did.

"I slept on the couch. Your boyfriend kicked me in the nuts, and I still get the pox!" he complained. I admit he looked pretty pitiful with the red dots covering his chest and face. I sat next to him on his bed remembering way back when Nudge, Angel, and I got the chicken pox in the E house. I could relate to his frustration.

"Fang jacked you?" I snorted.

"Yeah, it was hard not to when we were squished on that damned couch with our feet by each others business." I couldn't help but snicker at him. Just then Gazzy noisily popped his head into the room.

He looked at the shirtless Iggy and shouted, "Sucker!" then ran away.

"This is what I get for visiting the kid while he's sick. Remind me to kick myself when I'm healthy."

I rolled my eyes and said, "You're a saint."

The door cracked open again and I expected another appearance from Gazzy. I was surprised to find Ella with a tray of soup and crackers.

After ogling Iggy's bare chest she grinned at us and explained, "I made chicken noodle." She sat the tray on the night table. There were three bowls of steaming soup looking delicious, so I was quick to grab my supper.

I found it funny that Iggy quit his whining as soon as Ella showed up. She leaned over Iggy to check his temperature and he ate it up. He propped himself up so Ella could eat by him. These idiots were so into each other and they couldn't even see it.

_Reminds me of these two bird kids_ _I know_ I heard Angel joke in my head. I ignored her and could almost feel the smirk that would be on her face. I slurped the last of my noodles and thanked Ella.

"I'm gonna go check on the others," I excused myself to give them some privacy. I winked at Ella but Iggy didn't notice because he was busy devouring Ella's tasty cooking. She blushed as usual and I couldn't help but smile as I walked away.

I met Gazzy in the living room and tousled his hair for being so ornery. Fang was pretending to listen with rapt attention to Angel and Nudge's story about a unicorn when I sat next to him.

"Why don't you guys get ready for bed?" I asked after they finished. They left in a girlish flourish, and I was left with Gazzy and Fang. I turned to face the healthy little man.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going," he said and strutted out of the room. Fang smiled at me once he was gone.

"How's Iggy?" he asked.

"Doing fine under Ella's intensive care," I said returning his knowing smile.

He discreetly looked over my shoulder then leaned forward to meet my lips. We simultaneously reached for each other. Hands on hips, mouth to mouth. I briefly wondered if this feeling would ever get old. As Fang's hand slowly roamed up my back I resolved that it couldn't possibly get old.

Eventually the need to breathe made us stop. Stupid lungs. We laid out on the couch, his chest pressed to my back.

"Max?" he began after a long comfortable silence.

"Yeah?"

"Sleep here tonight." I thought it over and decided I could. Dr. M never specifically forbade us to sleep on the couch. I could wake up before she left for work.

"Okay," I said and curled tighter against him. I don't know why he and Iggy were complaining. I was perfectly comfortable. Then again I can't imagine they were lying like we were. The thought of it made me laugh aloud.

Fang said nothing, just gripped me even tighter. That's how we fell asleep.

**Review because it's my birthday? That's right I'm the birthday girl!**


	15. Chapter 15

_I was sitting in front of a white rocking chair on the floor in a bright white room. Before I had the chance to figure out how I got into the white jumpsuit I was wearing, Iggy came through a door that disappeared as soon as he entered. He was wearing an outfit identical to mine and he still had the chicken pox. He grinned kindly at me, and his pox started falling off of his body. They rolled on the floor, seemingly aimless, and then I realized they were all heading for where I stood. I quickly crossed the room to Iggy and they followed. I screamed as the pox surrounded me and started to attach themselves to my arms, legs, and head. They soon blacked out my vision._

I was yanked back to consciousness by strong hands shaking me.

"Let go!" I shouted then realized it was just Fang. He covered my mouth and put a finger to his lips. Right, I'd wake someone up. I shook my head to make it clearer and realized we were still on the couch.

I kissed him (I mean, who could resist him with that adorable bed head?), and looked at the TV set clock. It read 5:50. I sluggishly rose from the couch, grabbing Fang's hand in mine. We walked the length of the house and slowed in the hallway.

"How 'bout I just sleep in your bed?" he asked hopefully. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. We came to the boys' room and he took a step in and reversed right back out.

"What?"

"Uh, Max. You might want to see this."

We peeked our heads into the room together and what I saw almost dropped my jaw clear to the floor. I didn't believe it at first, but the lavender tank top was unmistakable.

Ella. In Iggy's arms. Surprisingly, his pox were almost completely gone.

I turned to hug Fang and smiled into his shoulder. I was quick to return to my spying. They looked so content. Iggy snuggled in closer to Ella and I repressed my sisterly urge to kick his butt (guess I'm a tad bit over protective). Ella sighed and I was about to shut the door when I heard Mom's alarm go off.

"Crap!" I said to Fang, "Wake them up and I'll distract my mom."

He nodded and we both hurried.

Mom came out of her room, pulled on a robe, and yawned. I put on my best innocent face and walked towards her. Ella subtly escaped the boys' room and joined me.

"Morning girls," Mom greeted us with a cocked eyebrow.

"Morning!" we responded brightly together.

"I was just going to make you breakfast when I remembered I can't cook! I've recruited Ella," I shouted.

Ella elbowed me and added, "Yup, what would you like to eat?"

Mom kept her smile and said, "Since when do you two wake up before noon?"

I looked to Ella with an uneasy grin.

"I'll have some scrambled eggs. I'm in an eggy mood."

She passed us and absent-mindedly peeked into the room. She tilted her head.

"Boys are awfully strange."

She winked and entered the bathroom. We looked into the room and bust out laughing. Fang and Iggy were in the same bed, as far from each other as they possibly could be in the tiny single.

"You can breathe," Ella told them. Iggy quickly shoved Fang out of the bed and looked up at Ella. Fang sat on the floor rubbing his head.

"Why didn't you just go to your bed?" I asked Fang.

"I thought Gazzy was sleeping there, and I couldn't get up the bunk ladder fast enough."

Iggy shot him a loaded look and said, "Next time, hide under the bed!"

Ella sat down by him and asked, "There's gonna be a next time?"

Iggy blushed, so I saved his butt… kinda.

"You guys going out now?"

Ella beamed, "I asked him last night. I was afraid he'd never have the guts to ask me himself, so I went for it."

"I was almost going to ask you, but you beat me to it," he defended. Fang rolled his eyes.

"Well, Ells. We have to go prepare breakfast."

"You mean you get to watch me cook it," she said teasingly. I shrugged and we left the boys. We talked on our way to the kitchen.

"So where _is _Gazzy?" I asked.

"He had a bad dream and went to sleep by Angel last night. That's when I slipped away to see a certain winged boy."

I couldn't help but be proud of her for taking the initiative with Iggy. My family is full of such strong, independent women.

I helped Ella get out everything she needed. She started cooking, so I sat at the table and watched her work with enviable certainty. After a while Mom walked into the kitchen, still a little wet, and sat by me. Her hair smelled like citrus.

Ella set three plates of tasty eggs and toast at the table.

"Mmmm," Mom appreciated and asked, "Could you find that recipe for the apple crumble you and Iggy made a while back? If you can, fax it to my office because one of my coworkers wants to try it out." She turned to me. "Fang really liked that desert, didn't he?" I agreed remembering how he almost ate his hand in trying to shovel more into his mouth. The three of us grinned at one another.

Soon everyone was up and Mom had left for work on time.

* * *

**Heh, heh. Please don't hate me! I never meant for this chapter to be so late. Like I told m4tigers, who kindly PMd me thus inspiring me to kick it into gear, life is crazy. Mine has just been crazy busy. I have no intentions of ever being this late with a chapter again. Just don't give up on me. As always: review, review, review!**

**P.S. Thank you all so much for those birthday wishes! :]**


	16. Chapter 16

"Max… Max! Where's the hydrocortisone?" I rubbed my eyes and yawned.

"What? Where?" I looked over to find Ella scratching her stomach. Upon closer observation, I recognized the red dots spread over it.

"Get back in bed, fool. I'll go get the cream for your itching. I can't believe you got the pox. I thought you were vaccinated!"

"Nope. I can't stand needles," she explained all chipper.

"Then why were you spending all that time with Iggy?"

She smiled sheepishly and said, "He looked so miserable! I had to try to make him feel better."

"He's not helpless you know." She looked offended, but it was quickly gone.

"I know that. Everyone deserves to be cared for when they're sick."

I thought for a second and then said, "And that includes you, so sit back and rest."

"I'm fine," she insisted.

I lifted her shirt a bit and said, "Uh huh, if you squint your eyes your pox spell out fine. Shut up and sleep."

I headed to the bathroom for Ella's medicine. On my way I ran into Iggy.

"Hey, Max. Where's Ella?"

"She's in bed. You gave her the chicken pox," I said bluntly.

"Crap," was all he said as he darted to the girls' room. That kid moves fast for being blind.

I grabbed the cream and slowly wandered back to our room, wondering why no one had woken me up sooner. Everyone must have been in the living room I decided.

When I reached our room I smiled to myself. Iggy was sitting on the floor next to the bed.

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't vaccinated!" he asked.

She shrugged guiltily. I rolled my eyes and handed her the hydrocortisone.

"I'm gonna go see what everyone else is doing. You two behave yourselves." Ella grinned and Iggy tried to appear composed despite his blushing.

* * *

Our day, like the rest of them, passed quickly. We soon found ourselves sprawled out on the couches in front of the TV. I was with Nudge and Gazzy on one, and Fang was cradling Angel on the other. Iggy was fawning over Ella in her room, of course.

Iggy was attentive to the point of obsession when it came to Ella. The whole day he'd been running all over the house fetching her things and cooking for her. Ella was content with him just sitting and talking with her. Thrilled, actually. Still he insisted on dashing like a madman on any unasked errand.

A little disgusted by the sappy lovebirds, I asked Nudge, "How long do you think it'll take them to get over the honeymoon phase?"

"Maybe never. I mean, look at you and Fang. Hello? You've been together for, like, _ever _and you're still all lovey dovey and romantic. Well, you weren't together together for the longest time because you're both blind to the scent of _love_, but now you're together and everything's great!"

Fang grinned and Angel said, "Blind to the scent of love?"

"I was being metaphorical and poetic, duh," Nudge sighed.

Gazzy laughed and said, "Next time get your 'metaphors' straight."

It took me a while to process all her lengthy speech.

When I did I piped, "I resent that statement! Fang is not romantic."

He feigned hurt and then walked over to me.

He held out his hand and said, "Miss Ride, may I have this dance?" My eyebrows rose, but I gave my hand and he kissed it like a gentleman. The kids started humming a confused song and we stumbled through a pathetic waltz.

Fang stopped to dip me dramatically and said, "If I acted like this all the time you'd slap me." The kids clapped for us wildly.

I smiled and slapped him anyway (Lightly. No need to call protective services!).

"Good thing you like 'em feisty," I said. "I'm gonna go see if Ella needs anything." Fang frowned and reluctantly let go of me.

"You know she won't with Iggy there. Just admit you're checking up on them," said Nudge. I winked and walked away.

I really should have knocked. Iggy and Ella were playing some intense tonsil hockey. They jumped away from each other as I came in.

"Whoa, there tiger. You'll wear her out that way," I chided. Iggy surprised me by agreeing with horror in his voice.

"You're right!" he turned to Ella. "I'm an idiot. You won't get better if you're tired."

Ella stared at him with something like disbelief.

"You should go get her something to eat, Igs. She looks starved," I said to tease her. He nodded quickly kissed her forehead, and left.

"You know, Max. You're _so_ funny. You're a freaking comedian!" Ella fumed.

"I just had to have my fun."

"Now he's never gonna kiss me," she complained. I laughed.

"Fret not, little sister. You'll be back to sucking face once you're perfectly healthy again." She smiled a little, and then dropped the angry act.

"He's being ridiculous, Max. I'm not helpless. Talk some sense into him."

Before I could refuse (I was having too much fun watching her squirm), Iggy walked back in with as much food as he possibly could have stuffed onto one tray.

"That's my cue to go," I said. "Feel better, Ells."

Iggy started coaxing her to eat as I walked away a little smugger than what would be considered acceptable.

**There she be. Two chapters in one weekend! I know: I'm compensating, I owed you one, etc. Consider it another apology. Review, review, review! To smarty pants like ****nnickiikcinn****, if you'd like to review three times, by all means, please do! I'd enjoy that very much. X]**


	17. Chapter 17

With everyone restored to a healthy state, the Flock and family were back to our usual mischief. The incident of the moment involved a search to cure Gazzy's… intestinal issues and a pair of tighty wighties.

"Maybe if we give him an atomic wedgie he'll stop," Nudge suggested perkily. Gazzy looked horrified and had the sensibility to protest. I decided I'd let them go on about the subject enough, and stopped Angel from trying out their possible solution.

Gazzy cried, "You were actually gonna do it, Angel. Jesus Christ!"

I frowned at him as Mom walked into the living room reading the mail.

"Jesus Christ," she began thoughtfully, "That reminds me. One of my coworkers invited us to her church tomorrow. You guys need any laundry done?"

I looked to Fang to gauge his reaction and noticed his face was completely blank. Uh oh.

"I'm so excited! I'm gonna wear one of the dresses we bought at the mall. Ooh and those shoes! Angel, let's go try them on!" She grabbed her had and they ran out of the room.

Gazzy had settled between Ella and Iggy and was making her laugh probably with a story of one of their past antics. They all seemed unfazed by Mom's announcement.

I moved towards Mom and pointed to the kitchen. She followed me and we rested at the counters.

"Are you sure you want to drag us all to church tomorrow?" I asked.

"I couldn't find the guts to turn her down, and I need your guys' moral support. Will you please go? For me?" she asked.

I got a bad feeling about the whole thing, but I'd do anything to help her out after all she's done for us. I looked her in the chocolate eyes and managed a smile.

"It'll be fun. The kids don't get out of the house enough," I said.

She wrapped me in the warmest motherly hug and said, "Thanks, Max." She kissed my forehead and continued, "I'm going to start supper. You want to give cooking another go?"

I shook my head furiously and excused myself to go back to Fang. When I saw him he still sat stone-faced at the couch end. In attempt to snap him out of his reverie, I sat as close as humanly (it's a loose term) possible without sitting on his lap. I breathed onto his face like an unattractive animal until he turned to look at me.

"I have such a weird girlfriend," he said with a straight face. I smiled and nodded my head enthusiastically. His face softened a bit and he put his arm around me.

We just sat and watched the T.V. with Gazzy, Ella, and Iggy for a few more minutes. I got an idea and whispered it into Fang's ear.

We got up and Fang headed out on the porch. I went back to tell mom we were going for a fly.

"Okay, enjoy yourselves. I'm glad you're getting some exercise, finally. All that time crammed into this house can't be good for your poor wings," she said.

I shrugged and said, "Thanks, we'll be back before supper is ready."

I walked out of the house and to meet my beautiful bird boy. I may not know a lot, but the one thing I do know is that Fang completely unfurled is freaking breath taking. The moonlight made each of his black feathers shine, and he had his hands buried in his jean pockets. In short: he was too good looking for his own good.

He watched as I removed my jacket and let my wings out of the slits in my T-shirt. We seemed to gravitate towards each other until we were touching. I ran my fingertips along his primaries and they stretched and moved like they had a mind of their own.

"I love your wings," he said stealing my thoughts with an intense look in his eyes. I stood up on my tip of my toes and kissed him square on the mouth.

"C'mon, let's go or we'll never make it back in time," I encouraged. We gave each other room and took off with big strokes. We flew past the cluster of trees nearest to the house until we met some a few miles away.

I smiled and made a cradle gesture with my arms. Our old signal for the trick we taught ourselves back when we lived in the E house. Fang slowed his speed and landed with confidence. I flew a few feet above him and he opened his arms for me. I drew my wings in quick and dropped through the night sky like a rock. Sure arms caught me before I had my fill of falling.

"You've gained some weight since we last did this," he teased as he set me down.

"Don't tell me a few months here have made you soft," I responded.

He curled his arm, flexed, and said, "Nope. I still got it."

I rolled my eyes and dragged him by the hand to sit at a big comfy tree trunk. He plopped down beside me. I wasted no time in getting to the point.

"Are you okay with going to church tomorrow?"

He let out a breath and mumbled, "I'm just a little anxious. All those people greeting and hugging and praying." He said it like they were dirty things to do. I laughed and he played with my fingers to hide his smile.

"I wouldn't normally go to church, but Mom wants us to," I explained and he nodded.

"If anyone touches me, though, I'm leaving," he said.

"Don't worry. Put that intense, leave-me-alone face on, and I'm sure no one will bother you," I joked.

He grinned out the side of his mouth and stood up.

"Time to go already? We need to fly more often," I said with my most tragic face. He agreed and leaned down and let's just say we made the most of what was left of our alone time. A couple minutes later we were still at it, so I put my palms on his chest and distanced myself.

"Really. We have to get back." Fang sighed dramatically and we took off with smiles on our faces.

**There she be, belove****d readers. Hope you enjoyed this little chapter. Thanks for all the suggestions, as they are always taken into consideration. Show me the love (or the hate, I've got thick skin) and review!**


	18. Chapter 18

"Max, wake up! We're going to church! I'm so excited," Nudge gushed as she jumped on my bed.

"Careful or you'll hit your head on the bunk. I'm glad you're looking forward to it," I said and tried to hide my dread. Something always goes wrong whenever we go out in public.

I sat up and saw Angel and Nudge were fully dressed in casual spring dresses and contemplating what shoes to wear.

"What do you think, Max? Should I wear these or those sandals?" Nudge asked holding a pair up.

"Um, the ones you're holding."

"You're useless. These don't go with my dress!" she said and Angel laughed at us.

Trying to hide my impatience I said, "Then wear the sandals."

Ella walked into the room and sat by me on the bed.

"Your outfits look great, girls," she said. I looked at her and smiled with thanks. "Are you going to wear your hair up?"

Nudge played with her curls and said, "Have you seen this mess? I have to fix it."

"I can help you with that. My friend, Taylor, has hair like yours and I fix his all the time," she offered. Nudge squealed and Ella told her to get ready in the bathroom. The girls left and Ella smiled.

"What are you wearing?" I asked her. She just pointed to the jeans and T-shirt she had on. "That's it?"

She nodded and said, "I'm sure God doesn't care if I dress up, Max."

I was happy with her philosophy and donned the same get up.

"I'm gonna go play hairdresser. Wish me luck," she said. She closed the door behind her and I flopped back onto the bed.

The door creaked open again and I said, "Forget something?"

"No," said a voice deeper than I expected, "but I've been meaning to kiss you good morning."

Fang stood still by my bed dressed in his signature black attire. I patted the bed and he joined me in relaxing.

"Why do you wear black all the time?" I asked cautiously.

"Deep psychological damage," he explained somberly. He looked at my worried reaction and smirked. "I'm kidding. It's just habit now. We always had to wear white in the school, so when we got out I wanted to wear the opposite. Plus, it's very slimming." I cracked a smile and kissed him.

"Are the boys ready?" I asked.

"Last time I checked they were still getting dressed." After a little hesitation we went downstairs and were all on our way to church.

* * *

We were all squished into the van (illegally seated), and flying towards our destination. The van seats seven so Gazzy was on my lap and Angel was on Ella's. Iggy sat in the front and teasingly asked, "Can you all breathe back there?"

His question was met with multiple groans and a dirty look from Angel. The vehicle was quiet the rest of the ride. I think we were all just anxious.

We pulled into the parking lot and stepped out of the van. We paused for a second before Mom said, "Okay, we have to go in. We're already late." She moved towards the doors and we trailed her like ducks.

Once inside, we were greeted by a kind, elderly lady who asked our ages.

"Okay, you younger three come with me to kids' church, and you five get to watch the adults' service. I watched her take Angel by the hand and they walked away. I swallowed the urge to go with them and instead walked into the big sanctuary.

It was packed with singing people and all of them seemed really into it. Some were clapping and swaying. The music was surprisingly upbeat.

"Did I mention this is a Pentecostal church?" Mom asked. I shook my head and stood mesmerized by the moving bodies around me. Ella caught my eye and smiled at me. Mom found the coworker that invited us and we slipped into the seats next to her.

I didn't sing (I'm kind of tone deaf), but I read the words that were provided on a screen behind the band playing the music. Iggy was to my left and I could tell he looked a little uncomfortable. Ella reached out and grabbed his hand and he relaxed.

They sang a few more songs and then an animated pastor told us to "go ahead and greet each other". Mom's coworker introduced herself as Carol and shook all of our hands. Well all except for Fang. He kind of hid behind me to avoid it.

"You weren't kidding when you said you have a house full of kids!" Carol exclaimed, unfazed by Fang's behavior.

Mom and Carol went off to meet some other people and the four of us sat in our seats.

"So what do you guys think?" Ella asked optimistically.

Fang said, "We don't have to come back, right?" and Iggy snickered.

"I don't even know what to think," I said honestly.

A few kids our age came over to say hi. They introduced themselves, but I didn't bother remembering them because the chances of us meeting again were slim to none. One guy insisted on shaking hands with everyone. He started with Ella, stared at Iggy in the cloudy eyes, lingered with my hand in his, and held his out to Fang. Fang stared at it.

"Do you shake hands with your friends?" Fang asked surprising me.

Handshaking Guy blanched then said, "Sure I do. C'mon man, I promise I'm not sick or anything. It's just a handshake."

I elbowed Fang in the side and he took his hand. He must have gripped it tightly because Handshaking Guy winced and shook more firmly. The boys had to break it up because the pastor asked people to take their seats. Handshake Guy mumbled to his friends as they left.

"Fang, what're you doing? You could've broken his hand." I scolded. He looked more proud than ashamed and I smacked his arm for it. He rubbed what would probably become a bruise as Mom and Carol returned from socializing. We got comfortable and listened to the pastor's sermon.

* * *

Soon enough the service was over, and I immediately looked for Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel. I found the two blonde heads running among a herd of children released from their room. I snatched Gazzy and Fang grabbed Angel.

"Where's Nudge?" I asked.

"She skipped with Ben," she said plainly.

"What! Angel, ask her where she is," I said and watched as she concentrated for a second.

"She's waiting outside."

The four of us exited and found Nudge sitting on a bench with an adorable Asian boy Nudge's age. When Nudge looked up and saw us, she waved enthusiastically.

"Max, I want you to meet my new friend," she said.

He looked at the four of us curiously, batted his thick lashes, and said, "Hi, I'm Ben."

"Nice to meet you, Ben. Are you ready to go, Nudge?" I asked and she sighed. She gave Ben a hug goodbye and I raised my eyebrows. We left and met Mom at the van.

Everyone squeezed in and Fang whispered, "Let's get out of here before they invite us to a potluck or something." I laughed and we were on our way back home.

* * *

After a delectable meal cooked by the dynamic duo of Ella and Iggy, everyone had settled down. Ella and I were reading books in our respective beds when Nudge came in. She came and sat down by me.

"Can I go to church on Wednesday?" she asked.

I chuckled and joked, "If you promise not to skip and go kissing." Her dark skin turned pink.

Ella squealed, "Oh my gosh, you kissed!" I smiled and asked her if it was true. She nodded.

By then Ella had jumped onto the bed with us. "Was it a good kiss?"

"How would I know? I've never been kissed before! Well, I know it wasn't bad because I really wouldn't mind doing it again. So I guess it was good! Did you see how well dressed he was. He's kind of why I want to go on Wednesday. I want to see him again," she rambled.

"Our little girl has gone and gotten kissed, Max!" Ella gushed.

"I wouldn't stop you even if I could, Nudge. Have fun at church, but don't raise too much hell," I said. We hung out for a while and then she went downstairs again.

"Holy crap. They sure do grow up fast," Ella sighed. Sadly, I couldn't agree more.

**There she be. Enjoy and review, review, review!**


	19. Chapter 19

**I do not own Osiris shoes, Hot Topic, or the Max Ride series.**

"Are you sure?" Ella asked hesitantly.

"If I weren't, I wouldn't have mentioned it," I answered.

"No, you don't understand. I'm not a bird kid. I'm made of heavier stuff."

"Trust me Iggy can handle your weight to the mall and back with no trouble."

She nodded still a little unconvinced. We finished getting ready and headed downstairs to meet the others. At the table sat a grinning Iggy facing a brooding Nudge.

"Max! No, better yet. Ella, make your boyfriend stop teasing me about Ben," she said.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed the prepared bagels from Iggy's plate, sharing with Ella. She glanced at Nudge sympathetically and swatted Iggy on the head.

"Leave the poor girl alone," she said taking a bite. Iggy agreed to stop and put his arm around her waist. That was still going to take a while to get used to. Fang snuck into the kitchen with Gazzy and Angel trailing him then.

"Are we ready to get some shopping done?" I asked everyone. We all seemed to be, so we headed outside.

All of us unfurled but Iggy who was whispering with Ella. He smiled and leaned down to kiss her. I motioned for take off and watched as Iggy gathered Ella in his arms and lifted from the ground. I joined everyone in the sky and they looked to me to guide the way. I headed in the direction of the mall.

Our flight was filled with the usual chatter but seemed more animated. Maybe it was because it had been so long since we had last flown together. I looked around observing. Nudge had her eyes closed, enjoying the breeze as she drifted in it. Angel and Gazzy were maneuvering around each other in an evolved game of tag. Iggy held my sister tight to his chest and was murmuring to her. It seems Ella is terrified of heights. She finally looked up, but buried her head back into his shoulder and he chuckled.

I searched for Fang, but I couldn't see him anywhere. Just as I was about to panic, I heard someone clear their throat above me. I pivoted midair to face him and he smirked. I smiled as he leveled with me. We clasped hands, which, I can assure you, is no small feat when flying.

Soon enough we came close to the mall's location. We spotted the perfect patch of remote trees to land near. We all descended, Iggy with extra care. Ella still looked pale when she stood on her feet.

"Just give me a minute to sit," she said. We stretched and waited for her to recuperate. Finally, she rose and took Ig's hand and we walked to the mall.

Once there, we split up because none of the guys cared to deal with the girls' excitement. They were the smart ones. I handed Fang some of the money Mom had given me for this and the guys headed off to a little record shop. The girls practically dragged me to this ridiculously pink accessories shop.

A half an hour later, Angel and Nudge were taken care of and Ella and I were still adjusting back to the lack of blinding pink. We met up with the boys and sat at some benches.

We talked about the stores we visited and I was shocked to hear Fang shopped at some pretty preppy places.

"You didn't go to Hot Topic?" I asked kiddingly.

"Nope. Black is black. Everywhere sells black clothes. Besides Hot Topic is just as pretentious as the other stores. They just market themselves differently," he explained.

I thought about it and found I actually agreed. I felt a hand tugging at my wrist.

"Max, will you take me to the play place?" she asked a little too sweetly.

"Sure, Angel." I held her hand and waved goodbye to the others because no one else wanted to come. We arrived at the playing area and I set her free. I sat down again on a bench that resembled a frog. Angel started making friends immediately.

I was still admiring her social skills when someone asked, "Can I sit here?" I looked over at the guy who had spoken. He had white blonde hair, blue eyes, and a perfect, infectious smile. He was rocking the skater punk look with his shaggy hair and his big Osiris'.

I smiled back and said, "Go right ahead."

He plopped down next to me and asked, "Which one is yours?" I pointed out Angel.

"Is she your daughter?" he asked genuinely.

I snorted and said, "No. Sister."

He shrugged and said, "You never know these days. It's completely possible. My brother is the one your sister's playing with now." Sure enough, there was a little carbon copy of him chasing Angel through a mushroom tunnel. He was even dressed similarly.

Angel must have heard us because she turned and winked at me.

We talked for a little while more then I noticed Fang slink by suspiciously. I quirked an eyebrow and continued our conversation only half paying attention.

"So do you?" he asked hopefully.

"Huh?"

"Would you wanna go see a movie sometime? You know, with me?" I blanched out of surprise then saw Fang coming up from behind Blonde Boy. I shot him a "help me" look, and he grinned mischievously.

"Um, I can't." Fang made a show of swishing his hips as he strolled up to us. He kissed both of my cheeks flamboyantly and turned to blonde boy.

"Who do we have here?" he asked all flirty in voice way higher than his normal one.

Blonde Boy stared at Fang for a long second and muttered, "Ross."

"Well, Ross. My name is Nick. My friend here and I have to leave now, but if you ever want to have some fun, here's my number." He handed Blonde Boy a cell number scribbled on the back of a receipt. Ross accepted it with furrowed eyebrows.

"Uh, thanks," he said. By then Angel had come over and we were set to leave.

"Let's go," she said and tugged at my arm. I listened to her and we started to walk away with Fang.

"Wait. I never got your name," Ross said to me. I shrugged playfully and waved goodbye. The poor boy was super confused.

We hurriedly caught up with the others and left the mall. When we reached the cluster of trees we'd previously landed in, Ella demanded details.

"Long story short, some skater boy was hitting on me so Fang pretended to hit on him to scare him off," I explained. Angel crowed and did an impression of Fang's pretend strut. I turned to him and squeezed his hand.

"You are so full of surprises. You're great at acting," I told him.

"Who said I was acting?" he joked. "You owe me by the way." It was my turn to smirk.

We lifted off again and were on our way back home. This time around, Ella didn't look like she was going to puke on Iggy. She actually looked away from his shoulder occasionally.

We made it back home, and put away our spoils. The girls were comparing who got the best deals. I was just happy we survived our trip to the mall.

**There she be. (Why do I say that? Habit. I'm not sure why, but my immediate family has always used the phrase. Guess it stuck.) Any who, do me a favor and review. I need them now more than ever. I've been suffering a lack of inspiration lately. I need **_**you **_**to help me cultivate some ideas!**


	20. Chapter 20

"Who's number did you give him?" I asked Fang as we were sprawled out on the couch, half-heartedly watching a movie.

"Just some girl's," he explained vaguely. I gave him a look that demanded he continue.

"Yeah, some girl at the mall had the hots for our boy Fang. Gave him her number and everything," Iggy said. A flash of jealousy hit me, but then I thought logically. Fang wouldn't cheat on me.

"Was she pretty?" I asked Ella, only kidding.

"Drop dead gorgeous," she answered seriously.

I frowned at her and she sputtered, "I mean hideous! Painful to look at." Fang watched our exchange with a little amusement showing in the quirked corner of his mouth.

"Maybe I should have kept her number," he said pretending to consider it. I swatted him for what felt like the thousandth time that night. He feigned hurt and rubbed his head.

"I have an idea!" Ella said. I resisted the urge to shudder. Ella's ideas usually ended badly. "I know this great little pond near by. We should go."

I looked to Iggy and Fang and they seemed up to it, so I agreed. I quickly checked to see if Mom and the three younger kids were still asleep. I felt a twinge of guilt for leaving Nudge out. She was about thirteen after all. I was about to invite her, but she was already fast asleep.

The four of us crept out of the house. We didn't do a very good job because the patio door creaked noisily as we left. Luckily, no one woke up.

Fang, Iggy, and I whipped out our wings. Ella sucked in a deep breath. Right, acrophobia. Iggy asked her if she was sure and she nodded her head.

"I might as well get used to it, right?" she said, more to herself than anyone else. She shook her head and walked to Iggy's arms.

We took off one at a time, Iggy and Ella last. We hovered as low as we could for Ella, and she pointed us in the direction of the water.

Our flight was really quiet until Ella said, "This isn't so bad. It just takes some getting used to." I smiled at her news.

Soon enough we reached the pond. It wasn't as small as I had expected. We landed on a little dock. We all stood a while just taking in our surroundings. I noticed a no trespassing sign and raised an eyebrow at Ella. She just shrugged.

"Are you guys gonna jump in or what?" Ella asked before diving in, stopping only to taking off her shoes. Iggy shrugged, too, and jumped in after her.

I stood next to Fang and said, "You can join them if you'd like. I don't feel like getting wet." He rolled his eyes and picked me up before I could react. "Fang, no!" He dropped us off the dock despite my protests.

I closed my eyes just in time. I shoved Fang's torso away underwater and swam up. When I was above water, I heard Ella and Iggy laughing. I pushed the hair out of my face angrily. They tried to reign in their laughs, but failed miserably.

Fang's head broke the surface a few feet away from me. He spun around until he spotted me near the happy couple. He tried really hard to hide his smirk. For a little payback I sent a big splash that hit him directly in the face. He wiped away the hair that covered his eyes and swam towards us.

"Let's play chicken!" Ella suggested. I figured we might as well seeing how I was already drenched. We headed towards the shallower water so the guys could stand.

I crawled onto Fang's shoulders, which was harder to accomplish because of my jeans. Ella managed to board Iggy's shoulders with ease. We both held out our arms for balance as the boys advanced towards each other.

Ella and I locked arms and began to wrestle. My sister had surprising upper body strength. Despite his blindness, Iggy was doing an excellent job of maneuvering. Basically, they whipped our butts. Ella threw me off Fang's shoulder four of five times. Ella was still bragging when we noticed the flashlight shining through the nearby trees.

We quickly ran out of the water and hid in the trees. Iggy heaved Ella up onto the lowest branch and followed her in climbing. Fang and I scaled the tree right next to theirs.

A voice called out, "Who's there?" and a man stopped beneath Iggy and Ella's tree. The water dripping from Ella's clothes and hair barely missed the guy.

He waved his flashlight around some more and muttered, "Stupid kids." Then he walked away. Only after we were sure he was gone we all bust out laughing. Ella was so tickled she fell out of her branch.

Iggy's arm shot out and caught her before she could fall. He set her back with a little difficulty then clutched his left arm.

"Uh, guys. I think I hurt it," he said. Ella apologized profusely but Iggy waved her off with a smile that barely concealed a wince. We quickly got down from our perches.

"I don't think I can carry you home. I might drop you," Iggy told Ella. Fang moved to carry her, but I beat him to it.

I opened my arms and said, "Hop to it, Sis." She grinned and I picked her up bridal style. She was perfectly light. I could tell Iggy felt bad, which was silly. None of it was his fault. We lifted off and flew home in a comfortable (but wet) silence. Soon we reached home.

I opened the patio door as quietly as I could. All four of us slipped into the dark house. We all silently dried off and changed into pajamas.

"We'll have my mom look at your arm tomorrow, Iggy," Ella said before we retreated to our bedroom. Once we were in our room I faced Ella and we started laughing again. Nudge started to stir, but fell still. I made a "zip your lips" motion and we each went to our beds. I couldn't help but smile until I fell asleep.

**There she be. Hope you enjoyed this little chapter. I credit the help of my reviewers who gave me ideas. Thank you! For those of you deeply concerned about Fang's sexuality, don't get your homophobic panties in a bunch. Fang is still straight and devoted to his beloved Max. Review and tell me what you thought!**


	21. Chapter 21

Saturday mornings are not my favorite time of the week- too much unscheduled… ness. This was my first thought as I woke up. As you can see, I was not yet completely coherent.

"Max, you have to come see!" Angel exclaimed as she burst into our humble (meaning crowded) room. I grumbled but followed her out to the kitchen. There Iggy was smiling up at us from his upside-down position in a chair. I gave a concerned smile to him and looked pointedly at Ella who was repressing laughter with the others at the counter.

"What's with him?" I asked her. Iggy giggled to himself and started gurgling his ABC's.

She made an attempt at composure but failed miserably. Her laugh broke any hope of seriousness in the room and she soon had us all at the mercy of our own amusement. Angel and Gazzy had tears in their eyes and Nudge got the hiccups. Fang actually chuckled a bit when our eyes met.

"Really, though. What's wrong with him?" I asked again.

"Mom gave him some pain meds after she patched up his arms. I think he took too many." Iggy got up from his chair and gave Fang a big hug. Fang stood there and patted him on the back. The kids snickered again.

I gave Ella a serious look and asked, "Isn't that dangerous? What was Mom thinking?"

"Relax. I called Mom and she said he'll be fine. We just have to make sure he drinks a lot of water and keep him from hurting himself. Again," she assured.

By then, Iggy had meandered to the fridge and opened a carton of eggs. "Catch!" he shouted animatedly as he chucked one at Angel. She caught it but it burst in her hands, covering her face and torso in yolky mess.

Gazzy grabbed the rest of the eggs from him and said, "That's enough fun for now." Gazzy took his arm and guided him into the living room. I gave Angel a sympathy pat on the shoulder (the one without egg goop on it) and that was when I had a brilliant idea.

Angel looked up at me and said, "I like the way you think." We grinned at each other.

"Uh oh. What are you guys gonna do to my boyfriend?" Ella asked without any protest in her voice. I whispered the plan into her ear. She rolled her eyes, but followed us to Iggy.

After fifteen minutes of medicine induced delirium and squirming and a shower for Angel, my somewhat evil plan was played out on our helpless victim also known as Iggy. I called the boys out so they could see the final product. They shook their heads in shame when they saw him.

He was decked out in a short dress of Ella's and Nudge had fixed his make up way over the top. The cherry red lipstick was accompanied by bruise-blue eye shadow and fake eye lashes. Iggy's close-cropped hair held a shiny tiara. A risqué pair of skyscraper heels completed the whole ensemble.

Ella hooted and hollered, "I'm so glad we're the same size. We can share clothes. You're the prettiest boy I've ever dated, Iggy!" He turned in the direction her voice came from and strutted for us. The boy walked better in heels than I could ever hope to.

"Damn straight!" he called.

Fang muttered, "There is nothing straight about you right now, Iggy."

I noticed Gazzy working the video camera and giggled despite myself. There was definitely going to be hell to pay when Iggy's meds wore off.

**Hello, children. I owe you a rather large apology for skipping yet another weekend of writing. It's not my fault this time, I swear! My mother tried to have me brainwashed at a church convention. Again. I got back Sunday night and just tried to clear all the crap from my head. Any who, review my pretties! There will be another chapter tonight.**

**P.S. Twenty one is my absolute favorite number and that's how many chapters we're at!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I am not James Patterson. These are not my characters. (I always forget these buggers!)**

After Iggy was done swaying his delirious hips, we put him down for a nap. No I literally mean "we". Iggy insisted every single one of us tucked him in and kissed him on the forehead. He then demanded a group performance of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" despite it being only noon. I thought it was an excellent job of singing on my part, but for some reason Ella winced as I belted out "how I wonder what you are."

I removed his heels from his feet and Nudge set the tiara on the nightstand. Ella kissed him on the lips and said, "You're gonna hate us when you wake up." All Iggy did was purr at her. Like a _cat_. Gazzy and Fang looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

We all somehow managed to keep quiet until we were all out of the room, but once the door closed we died laughing. Fang spoke through his half grin, "This is not going to end well." If only he knew.

* * *

After an hour of silence from the boys' room, I heard a roar. "What the hell am I doing in a dress and am I wearing make up?" Ella looked at me with a delighted grin.

I looked to Angel and she said, "He's pis- I mean, ticked!" We could all hear his steps running to the living room where we sat watching Looney Toons.

"Who's idea was this?" Iggy demanded. "I'm peeved at all of you right now for either participating and/or not stopping this unforgivable sin, but I want to know who the real mastermind is." He looked at each of us (I'll never get used to it) with his arms crossed.

Finally Gazzy piped up, "It was Max." I rolled my eyes and murmured traitor under my breath, but owned up to it.

Iggy stared really hard at my forehead and said, "Maximum Ride, I will have my revenge." He then stalked out of the room and called for Gazzy over his shoulder.

Nudge began a rant, "Well, I think that went alright all things considered. I mean, he could have gone all insane chain saw guy and murdered us. I, for one, am excited to see what this revenge will be. The guy's honor is on the line, so it should be good. You should probably watch whatever he cooks you until this all blows over, Max."

"Duly noted, Nudge," was my simple reply. I noticed the smile creeping onto Angel's face. Uh oh.

"How bad am I gonna get it?" I asked her.

She grinned and said, "He's gonna get you good."

It was about four o' clock, and I was about to take my routine afternoon shower. I turned on the water and realized I forgot a towel. I passed Fang on my way to the linen closet.

"I'm gonna go before you're in there for an hour," he said jokingly. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my towel.

I came back and stood outside the bathroom door. Five minutes passed. I heard an uncharacteristic grunt. I was about to say something through the door, but decided I didn't want to know. Ten more minutes passed with a few more grunts.

"Fang, are you alright? What did you eat?" I asked cautiously. There was a long pause from the other side of the door.

Then I heard Fang say, "Max, I'm stuck."

"Oh. Um, I'll help pull you out," I said unwillingly. There is only so much a girlfriend is obligated to help with.

"No, you don't get it. My butt is glued to the freakin' toilet."

I sucked in a deep breath and said, "They didn't!"

He sighed and said, "They really did."

"Cover up. I'm coming in." I opened the door and sure enough there was a bottle of super glue on the counter.

"You think I would have noticed it," he said sadly when he realized what I was looking at.

"Wait here," I said. "Oh right, you don't have a choice. I'll be right back."

I ran to the living room where Iggy sat with his arm around Ella. I grabbed his ear and walked him down to the bathroom.

"Ow!" he protested. "You're supposed to be glued to the seat! What- oh…"

We came into the bathroom and I slammed the door shut behind us.

Fang said evenly, "If you weren't already injured, I'd kick your a-"

"Fang!"

"Sorry- bum."

Iggy looked sincerely apologetic when he said, "Dude, you couldn't have waited until Max got out of the shower? It was supposed to be her."

I smacked Iggy over the top of the head and said, "Grab the screw driver and get the seat off the toilet. He's gonna have to soak." I stopped the shower and started running a bath.

Iggy left and I could hear him whisper to Gazzy outside the door, "Operation Sticky Situation was a successful failure. We caught the wrong mouse." They must have high fived because I heard a clap.

"Strip down, Fang."

"For some reason, I always imagined you saying those words in a different context."

I fought the urge to blush and snapped, "Let's just get this toilet seat off of your arse."

I gave him some privacy after the bath was full and he jumped into the tub and pulled the shower curtain to cover his –ahem- private parts. Lucky for me his pectorals were still in perfect view from my perch on the counter. Yum.

He caught me staring and said, "Are you sure you don't want to join me?"

"Not while you've got a seat stuck to your butt," was my quick reply.

Once we got all of the innuendos and hormones out of the way, we had a perfectly nice conversation. It pertained mostly to how we would get Iggy and Gazzy back. Unfortunately, Fang and I aren't as vindictive and creative as those two. We got nothing.

"Maybe you should see if you can pry it off," I suggested after an hour and a half of waiting.

He furrowed his eyebrows but agreed. He winced and I heard the strangest squeaky noise.

"Oh my god," he said. "I'm gonna kill him." I couldn't help but laugh. Fang sat up in the tub and handed me the dripping toilet seat.

"Can I use your towel?" he asked. I happily obliged him. I left the bathroom and headed towards the living room where everyone else was waiting for the results.

"I am pleased to announce that the toilet seat is fine and ready for Iggy to replace. Seriously? Operation Sticky Situation?" I said.

Gazzy grinned and proudly said, "I came up with the name."

Iggy was smirking, so I said, "Did anyone tell him about the heels and tiara?" His smirk fell.

**There she be. Review and tell me your lovely ideas for next chapter! (pretty please? I'll even give you the damn cherry on top.)**


	23. Chapter 23

A day had passed and Fang and I still hadn't thought of any decent means of revenge.

"We could mess with their food?" Fang offered.

"Nah, Iggy cooks everything. That's also kind of lame. They glued your rear to the toilet! You'd think we would be more motivated," I mused.

"True," he said and sat next to me on my lower bunk. "Let's take a break from all this scheming and do something else." He laid out on the bed.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked with a smirk. I followed suit and faced him above the covers. Then we made like your typical teenage couple and sucked face. In fact we continued that fine activity until Nudge burst into the room.

"You know, that's simultaneously puke and "aww" worthy. I mean no one wants to walk into a situation like this, but I'm also touched by your little romance," she said.

By then we had sat up and I wiped my mouth (Fang uses a little too much saliva).

"Did you need something, Nudge?" I asked, trying to maintain an air of dignity.

She gave me a conspiratorial smile and said, "Angel has joined the ranks of Iggy and Gazzy. They're planning something big. I felt it my duty to join your cause. I did apply Iggy's fabulous make up after all."

"And fine job you did," I said. "Too bad he couldn't see just how gorgeous he looked. Welcome to headquarters."

"So this has become a prank contest?" Fang asked.

"No, no, no. This is more than just a juvenile game. Our honor is on the line here. This is war." Nudge looked truly inspired and Fang, well, Fang just sat there.

"So what are your plans so far?" Nudge wondered. My pride deflated a bit, but only for a moment.

"Well, we haven't really polished any ideas yet, but we have a few raw ones. Fang was thinking about something involving food, but I think that's kind of pathetic," I said.

"So you've got nothing. That's great because I've got a few of my own. Oddly enough, a majority of them are centered around food." She walked to the bunk and plopped between Fang and I. "To keep you focused," she explained. We quickly got down to business.

"A prank is useless if it doesn't have that personal sting. We need to recruit Ella, really dig the knife deeper. Iggy is not the only cook in this house and he needs to be reminded," Nudge said. "My original idea was just to do the tried and true whipped cream to the sleeping face, but then I thought about it more. I propose we spice things up, literally. Do you think Ella could cook some jalapeno whipped cream?"

* * *

After fifteen minutes of intense bribery, Ella agreed to make our special dairy product.

"This does not mean I'm on your team. I'm on no ones team," she explained.

"You mean you're Switzerland?" I asked.

"No, quite the opposite. Indecision is for babies and bi- sorry, female dogs. Think of me as a double agent." I smiled at her in genuine amusement.

She continued, "You'll have to use it while it's fresh. It'll lose its fluffiness otherwise, and I would hate to give my boyfriend soppy cream." She offered me a taste. For a long while I tasted nothing but sweet. I looked at her for an explanation, but she just held up a finger. Then it hit me.

"It's too hot! It's fires of hell hot!" I shouted and jumped around the kitchen. Nudge rolled her eyes and poured me a glass of milk.

"It works better than water. You know, it's hard to believe you're half Hispanic," she said. I was too busy gulping to retaliate. My glass of 2% was barely extinguishing my tongue, so I picked up the milk jug and chugged until it was empty. I sighed as I set the jug on the counter beside Fang. He gave me a sympathetic half smile.

"Well, now we know it has the desired effect," Nudge said rather insensitively.

"Are they still napping?" I asked Fang, still a little miffed. He nodded his perty head and I grinned. "This is going to be perfect. You'd think our years on the run would have taught them to sleep in shifts."

"Too bad for them. This is perfect for our purposes," Nudge said while wringing her hands maniacally. Who knew she could be so militant?

I gathered up Ella's hazardous concoction and a big spoon and we crept down to the boys' room. Fang and Nudge picked up feather dusters on our way. Ella armed herself with the video camera. We all stood ready by their door.

Since Fang is a ninja, he was elected the honor of opening the figurative gate to Iggy and Gazzy's sensory demise. It really was a shame Angel wasn't napping in the same room.

The other three stood in their positions, feather dusters poised above the enemy's faces and red light from the camera on. I took great caution in equally distributing the wicked cream into the outstretched hands of Gazzy and Iggy. Gazzy twitched a bit and we all held our breath. He settled soon enough and I gave Nudge and Fang the signal. Fang looked all too pleased as he gently brushed Iggy's cheek with his purple feather duster.

Iggy moved his head to the side a bit. Ella was shaking with silent laughter. Fang and Nudge continued until finally both the boys slapped their whipped cream topped hands to their faces.

Iggy shot up from his bunk. He noted the sound of Ella, Nudge, Fang, and I laughing at them.

"Clever," he said and some of the cream fell off his face. His annoyed smile quickly turned sour. "Oh my god. What is this? My mouth is on fire!"

Gazzy started shouting, "Hellfire and damnation, I'm dieing!" He frantically grabbed for the bottled water on his nightstand. It was empty. The boys both jumped out of their beds.

"Tooth brush!" Iggy shouted. "To the bathroom!" We were wheezing with laughter while we followed the boys who were running to the restroom like chickens with their heads cut off.

Angel, no doubt woken by all the ruckus, joined us as we watched the boys brush their teeth furiously and fight for sink space. "What the heck is going on?" she asked, but was ignored.

"Holy devil, we just had to buy cinnamon tooth paste! It's hotter," Iggy exclaimed. "To the kitchen." They charged down the hall to the fridge. Iggy unscrewed the milk jug, tipped it to his lips, and cried, "Empty?" Meanwhile Gazzy got smart (or dumb, depending on how you look at it) and lapped water from the faucet.

After another ten minutes of them trying to drink away the jalapeno taste, the "hellfire" subsided. Iggy stood resigned by the counter. "Well played. You're a worthy adversary."

Gazzy turned to Angel and said, "You were supposed to warn us about this kind of thing!"

Angel answered angrily, "How could I have seen this coming? I was asleep." The siblings rolled their eyes at each other.

Ella walked to Iggy's side, turned off the camera, and put her arm around his waist. He looked down at her face and said, "That could only have been your fiery cooking. You're the most treacherous girlfriend I've ever had. Also the prettiest."

Ella laughed and said, "I'm the only girlfriend you've ever had." He shrugged with a matching smile.

Gazzy grinned and said, "You better watch yourselves. We're gonna get you back."

I looked to Nudge and Fang and shrugged with a cocky smile.

**There she be. Three chapters in one weekend make me feel rather accomplished. Seriously guys, thank you so much for your ideas! As you can see, they have been utilized. Tell me what else you want to see in this story. I probably won't update again this weekend (keeping the Sabbath holy and that crap). Review with more suggestions and whatnot!**


	24. Chapter 24

A few days had passed since our spicy revenge. I could tell they were working on something, though. The time being was just the eye of the storm. Every day that passed added to our anxiety. Iggy, Gazzy, Angel, and Ella waltzed around the house perfectly at ease. Nudge (who by then had deemed herself as team leader under the grounds that Fang and I were "completely unimaginative"), Fang, and I walked around unnerved, anticipating their next onslaught.

While waiting, three things became apparent to me. I realized the unspoken rules were, one, no life threatening plots. Two, keep the amount of pain inflicted to a minimum. And lastly, never tell Dr. Martinez. These were limitations I decided I could live with.

I was creeping my way to the kitchen when someone whispered "Boo!" from around the corner. I jumped and brought up my fists. Ella stood before me with an amused smile.

I rolled my eyes and snapped, "What do you want?"

She crossed her arms and said, "Never mind then, I'll take my heads up elsewhere." I changed the annoyed expression on my face to one of patience.

"Beloved sister, what can I help you with?" I asked.

"That's better. All I'm saying is expect mischief today. You'll be red with anger if it works," she said vaguely.

"Thanks for the cryptic message, sis," I huffed. Ella shrugged and walked away, all nonchalance.

I didn't realize I was muttering to myself until Fang snuck up on me and said, "You really are crazy."

I turned around in his arms and replied, "Good thing you think I'm hot." I smiled when he nodded his head in agreement. I reached up on my tiptoes to kiss him.

He pulled away shyly and said, "Um, morning breath." I slapped a hand over my mouth, completely embarrassed.

Realizing the moment was ruined, I said, "I'm gonna go take care of this. In fact, I'm just gonna go ahead and shower." I walked to the bathroom briskly.

I locked the door behind me so no one could flush the toilet. Speaking of the toilet, I also checked it for superglue. All clear.

Once I had the shower running, I pulled a towel from the rack and undressed. I stepped into the searing hot water and sighed. What? Hot showers are soulful. Well, for me, at least. I'm sure you know how to wash your body, so I won't bore you with those details.

Now, you may not know this about me, but I take great pride in my hair. Nudge accuses me of being lazy for not daily spraying a can of hairspray or killing it with a straightener. Honestly, I just really like my natural hair. Nothing wrong with dirty blonde waves, right? Right!

So there I was humming along to the music in my head (I always save my voice for my showers' finale), when I realize my shampoo smelled a little different. I looked down at the opaque bottle and found nothing amiss. I set the bottle back down and went back to massaging my head. I quickly rinsed my hair and stepped out of the tub.

I hugged my towel around myself and tried to get warm. I glanced at the locked door and decided I had finished another shower untouched by Iggy's antics.

I wiped the condensation from the mirror and screamed. There was someone else in the mirror. Lissa was in the mirror. I spun around quickly prepared to defend myself from anything. Nobody there. I whipped my eyes back to the mirror and gasped. _I _was the person in the mirror. The worst thing imaginable had happened: my hair was red.

I screamed again, this time in rage. There were no words to describe how livid I was. I felt like murdering someone, and I had one particular natural redhead in mind. I could wait for that, though. First I had to fix the disaster that was my hair.

"Nudge!" I roared. I could hear her footsteps as they tore down the hall to the bathroom. She tried the handle with no luck. I tightened the towel around me and furiously unlocked the door.

Nudge was still staring at the doorknob when she said, "It's dangerous to shower with the door… locked." She noticed my hair and snorted. "What the frozen hell happened to your hair?" I just stood there fuming for a few more seconds.

"Just change it back! How do we get my old hair back?" I asked hysterically.

She laughed and said, "Calm down. It actually looks decent. We won't be able to do anything about it for a couple weeks. This is exactly what I was talking about when I said our pranks need that personal sting! Man, they're good."

"Stop smiling," I snapped. "This is serious. They've gone too far, and what do you mean by 'personal sting'?"

"Max, everybody knows Fang digs redheads. You've got to appreciate the thought behind this prank. It's kind of beautiful, actually. I mean their plan was." She laughed to herself again.

"Easy for you to say. You don't look like Rihanna!"

"Neither do you, Max. I don't know if you knew, but you're not Black and your hair is not _that _red. You're overreacting."

I harrumphed and said, "I'm going to get ready now. Start thinking of a counterattack. They're going to pay for this."

She turned and left with a smirk. I closed the door and looked at my hair once again. Honestly, it didn't look terrible, but I am no redhead. I know people are more than their hair color, but I felt like part of my identity had been stripped from me. This would take some getting used to if I had to wait weeks to return back to my original color.

I got dressed and prepared myself mentally for facing the enemy. And Fang. I couldn't even think of showing my mother yet.

I walked into the living room and the uneasiness radiating from everyone was intense. Iggy hid behind Ella, bravely brandishing a pillow in one hand. Gazzy and Angel sat wide-eyed and smug on the couch. Next to Nudge, Fang's face was devoid of any decipherable emotion. His jaw just hung a little slack.

I took an even breath and began, "Let it be known that revenge will be mine. As you are all aware, I now have red hair. I hope you can all adjust to it as well as I have." That was a complete lie, but they didn't need to know that.

"Fang and Ella, I need to speak with you." I turned on my heel and returned to the girls' bedroom. The two soon joined me. Fang sat next to me on the bed without a sound. Ella stood cautiously a few feet in front of me.

"Thanks for 'warning' me," I spat at Ella.

She looked at me with frustration and said, "Oh, come on, Max. I couldn't have been more obvious if I told you outright. 'Heads up' and 'red with anger' weren't clear enough for you?"

I hit Fang in the stomach and said, "Can you believe this?"

Ella defended, "At least I considered your skin tone when I picked out the color. Not to give myself all the credit, but you look great." Fang nodded his agreement. I looked at them with disgust.

"There was nothing wrong with my old hair," I insisted. "You," I jabbed my finger in her direction, "will help us get them back. We will crush them."

She shrugged and after we retrieved Nudge we laid out our most diabolical plot yet.

**There HE be. It was brought to my attention that I'm a raging, man-hating sexist (my words, not theirs) hence the slightly different AN intro. Any who, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I did writing it. Review (or I'll hunt you down and tickle you to death)!**

**P.S. I have a four day weekend. Expect more chapters soon. :]**


	25. Chapter 25

Nudge, Ella, Fang, and I had taken a break and when we came back an hour later in secret, Ella was grinning from ear to ear.

"This, my friends, is a local herb called Old Man's Beard. Genus _usnea_," Ella said with awe in her voice. She raised the white hair-looking plant a little so we could all get a better look. "It's a fungi used to as an antibiotic and to clear out body tracts. For our purposes, it will clear out a certain three bird kids' digestive tracts." Her grin turned more sinister.

Nudge looked at her sideways. "You do realize that we're doing this to your boyfriend, right?"

Ella gasped and said, "No!" She rolled her eyes. "Of course I know that. We're giving them the runs, not killing them." Nudge just shook her head at her.

Ella, unfazed, continued, "Now obviously we can't just shove this stuff down their throats. We'll have to stick in some kind of salad, but first I'm going to concentrate it. Did you guys know that I want to become a chemist?" Fang's eyebrows rose.

"Ella, where did you get your mean streak?" he asked.

Ella looked to me and said, "I'm related to Max, aren't I?" I hit him in the stomach once again for agreeing.

"Okay, Ella. Do what you've got to do," I told her. Nudge and Ella left to concoct another hazardous food. I looked at Fang who was comfortably stretched out on a bunk with his eyes closed.

He must have felt me staring at him because he said, "Feel free to join me whenever you want."

I snorted and obliged the man. He rested his arm on my hip and asked, "Do you think we're taking this too far?"

I looked at him incredulously. "They dyed my hair red! I guess you don't mind it, though," I said angrily. Fang sighed.

"Max, I do like it. I would like it if they had dyed it blue. I don't care what color your hair is."

I waved my hand wildly, "Oh, he doesn't care! You cared what hair color Lissa and Brigid's hair were."

Fang retracted his hand from my hip and covered my mouth gently. "I hate when you get all historical on me."

I peeled back his hand and said, "You mean hysterical?"

He shook his head as he said, "Nope, historical. You bring up every past mistake. A. I only kissed Lissa once, and everyone assumes I have a thing for redheads. I don't know if you recall, but that was when you had made it clear you didn't want me like that. B. I was _never _involved with Brigid that way. She helped me out with some science questions, and she was like twenty something and I was fourteen. I do care what color your hair is. It's just not the only thing about you I like."

I sat in corrected silence and he gave me a good-natured half smile. He leaned a little closer, brushed back my red hair, and kissed me.

"Let's go. Lunch is almost ready and I don't want to miss it," Fang said with finality.

We walked to the kitchen hand in hand. Iggy was stirring some chicken noodle on the stove and Ella was preparing the salad. She looked up and winked at me. I looked to Gazzy and Angel who were blissfully oblivious. Suddenly, I pitied them.

"I'll take those salads from you Ella," I said. I grabbed a few from the counter and started passing them out. Nudge gave me a weird look and Fang smiled knowingly.

Ella reluctantly handed the dangerous ones over. I set Iggy's salad at his place. I looked at the blonde siblings once more and "accidentally" dropped their salads to the ground. I could feel Angel probing my head for answers, but I shut off my thoughts pertaining to the current ordeal. She gave me a suspicious glance.

"Oh, sorry guys. I can make you another salad," I offered. They were adamant in their refusal of eating more vegetables.

We all sat down and ate our soup and salads (minus Angel and Gazzy who simply slurped their chicken noodle). Conversation was as amiable as ever, and everyone had a good laugh. It was only then that Iggy noticed a different tang to his salad.

"Did you use a new kind of lettuce, Ella?" he asked unsuspecting. Ella stifled a laugh and replied with a yes.

We waited a few more minutes for the desired effect to kick in. When it did, it was beautiful.

Iggy's face blanched for a moment. "I hope you'll excuse me. I don't feel very well," he said reservedly. Then he bust out of his chair and dashed to the bathroom. I'd like to say we didn't hear the effects, but we did. Okay, so that part wasn't so beautiful.

We were all cringing at the unpleasant sounds coming from the restroom. Then we heard Iggy exclaim, "Curse you all!"

Ella shouted back, "Don't worry! It'll only last for a few days." You could hear his exasperation. Nudge explained what we had done to the younger two.

Gazzy snorted and said, "Glad it wasn't me."

Angel looked at Ella and said, "I wondered why you were going on about an elderly male's facial hair in your head."

About a half an hour later the rest of us had finished our meal, fully disgusted by the sounds coming from the other end of the house, Iggy appeared at the kitchen doorway.

"That was low," was all he said and left. Angel and Gazzy trailed him with amusement on their faces.

The rest of us all looked around at each other for a minute. Then we started with all the high-fiving. We knew Iggy was going to strike back with a vengeance, but all we were concerned with then was celebrating.

**There it be. Question to those of you with your own stories: does a chapter's life counting down ever sadden you? Chapter 14 only has one day left in my document manager. How terrible. I thought the calendar said this was supposed to be a Good Friday! Well, I suppose it is Earth day, so maybe it isn't terrible after all. Review my pretties (and my uglies, too)!**


	26. Chapter 26

It took Iggy a few days to completely recover. His diet consisted of water and saltines, and he still got the crap (literally) knocked out of him. I made a mental note to never cross Ella. She has a creepy way of surprising everyone.

Speaking of surprises, Mom wasn't prepared for my hair when she got home from work.

Ella asked her to sit at the kitchen table as I hid in the hallway. I walked into the kitchen after Ella told her I had a surprise.

As soon as she saw it Mom smiled. "Did you do this for Fang?" she asked a little disapprovingly. I shook my head vigorously.

After swallowing the fact that I had nothing to do with the decision to dye my hair, I said, "No. I just felt like a little change."

She nodded and said, "Well, it looks nice. I just wish you would give me a heads up next time you do something so drastic."

"Will do. Actually I'm going to undo it as soon as Nudge says it's safe for my hair," I admitted. She nodded and we all went our separate ways for the night.

* * *

The next day we woke with a start. Mom was already gone for the day, and the only reason I was up was because I heard a girlish shriek coming from outside of the girls' room. I looked over where Nudge sat up confused. Ella and Angel were smiling. Uh oh.

I walked out the room with Nudge. We found Fang horror stricken in the hallway. He was wearing only his black pajama pants, so I was having issues concentrating while he freaked out.

"… And they're all gone! Nowhere to be found," I caught the end of his complaint.

Nudge said calmly, "All of a person's clothes don't just vanish. They've got to be here somewhere. Did you check the laundry?"

He ran to the washer and dryer. On top of the machines was a load of whites.

"See? Not there," said Fang.

Nudge snorted when she really looked at the clothes. Then it hit me. "Uh, Fang? Those are your clothes."

He gave me the you're-not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box look. "My clothes are black,  
Max," he said. Only then did he truly consider the clothes. "They didn't!" he squeaked

I chuckled and picked the first thing off the folded pile.

"They even got your underwear," Nudge snickered. Fang quickly snatched the underwear out of my hands and gave us both a dirty look.

"Is nothing sacred?" he asked. "They were supposed to be pranking _you_!"

"How does it feel, big boy?" I goaded.

Nudge raised an eyebrow and said, "Damn, they're good. Well you'll just have to rock the white threads. You know, in Asia and the Middle East white is considered to be the color of mourning." The girl tends to talk too much, but she says the right thing every now and again. Fang seemed to consider the information and settled down.

Only then did he notice my eyes appreciating his chest. He smirked and pulled a shirt from the pile of his bleached clothes. "This is the first time in years that I've worn something not black," he announced. He pulled the T-shirt on and sighed.

"White suits you, actually," I complimented.

By then everyone else had woken up and joined us by the machines. Ella stood grinning and Fang glared at her.

Iggy yawned and said, "I'm freaking tired. Do you know how late Ella and I had to stay up to get this done before you woke up?" I could only imagine how they spent their time waiting for the clothes. Ew, that's my sister.

"You look nice in white, Fang," Angel yawned. Fang seemed pleased by her remark.

I found my eyes drooping and said, "Alright guys, it's only five. I'm going back to bed."

Everyone agreed and walked back to their respective rooms. Fang hung back with me.

"Why do you wake up so early?" I asked.

He shrugged and said, "It's the only time I have alone." I rolled my eyes walked back to our room. I flopped back into bed and got some extra sleep.

**There she be. I owe a hearty thank you to my good pal, d1996, who is only a little violent. The last two chapters were hybrids of his original ideas. Any who, keep reviewing/ PMing me all the great ideas, folks! I need them desperately, as I am completely uncreative. Review!**

**P.S. I'm a Beta now! Now, all I have to do is find someone who needs my services...**


	27. Chapter 27

Another day had passed since what we deemed as "the Bleaching" occurred. I assured him that we'd get some black dye next time we went into town. When Mom asked Fang why he had the sudden change of heart he said with difficulty, "Max's change inspired my own." Mom gave him a suspicious look, but let him leave to meet us in the girls' room for another planning session.

"So, an inside source tells me the Bleaching was Angel's idea," Nudge informed us.

"Ella is not an 'inside source', Nudge," I said. Fang was breathing weird from where he sat next to me on a bunk, fully clad in white.

"Angel's gonna pay," he declared. "She made it personal."

"What are you proposing?" I asked him. Nudge and I listened intently as he explained.

* * *

"A good prank is all about timing," Nudge informed us during one of her lectures. For our latest stunt, we had to wait for night to fall. It was about 11:00 pm when Angel finally fell into a deep enough sleep for us to snatch the necessary piece of our prank from her. Nudge looked up at me from her bunk and I nodded. As I quietly got down from my top bunk, Nudge moved towards where Angel lay.

I grabbed one of Angel's countless stuffed animals and grinned. Nudge and I looked at Angel's vice grip on Celeste with awe. There was no way we could make the switch without waking her. Nudge sighed in defeat just as Angel uncurled her arm, loosing her grip on the precious teddy bear. Not one to wait and take chances, I shove the purple hippopotamus into Angel's arm while Nudge grabbed Celeste.

"Let's go," I whispered and we did. In the kitchen, Fang stood with a smug expression and the hot glue gun at the ready. We quickly got to work on Celeste's little make over. Fang's original plan had been to completely obliterate Celeste and give Angel a single teddy ear, but Nudge talked him out of it. When it was finished, Nudge, Fang, and I congratulated each other on a job well done.

We placed the newly remade Celeste in the middle of the table as a sort of macabre centerpiece for Angel's breakfast. The kitchen clock read midnight, so we all tiptoed back to bed, anticipating the scene that would surely unfold the next morning.

* * *

The three of us woke up early the next morning, eager to get good seats for Angel's reaction to her surprise. Ella strolled into the kitchen and chugged some orange juice from the jug before turning to see Celeste. She spit all over my face when she saw her. I wiped my face off with a nearby towel.

"What do you think?" asked Fang proudly.

"Beautiful," she appreciated. "I like this Celeste much better."

I knew we would all regret the day Celeste went punk. Nudge had sharpied different colors into Celeste's tuft of hair. Fang had turned her white wings pitch black and pierced her pout with a black lip ring. I had clothed her in a mini Ramones T-shirt and ripped jeans. In addition, we gave her a stitched scar on her left paw and enlarged her smile to look like a pretentious scowl. Celeste was officially a punk.

Gazzy burst into the kitchen with an upbeat flourish. He deflated when he saw the table.

"She's gonna hate you guys," he said. Iggy and finally Angel entered the room.

We all held our breath. Angel yawned and looked around the room suspiciously. Her eyes landed on the middle of the table and her jaw dropped. She mouth opened and shut, much like a fish. She collapsed into a nearby chair and began to weep at Celeste's paws. Suddenly, she whipped her head up and stared Fang down. His arm lifted, swung, and punched his face.

"Hey!" he protested. She was about to make him punch himself again, but I stopped her.

"You maimed her!" she wailed. "You turned my innocent baby into a delinquent."

Fang was nursing his injured nose in his white clothes, somehow maintaining an air of satisfaction. Iggy laughed once Ella whispered what happened in his ear. Gazzy and Nudge were looking on to see what would happen next.

Angel turned and stormed out of the room with Celeste tucked firmly under her arm.

"Well," said Gazzy, "that was interesting. What's for breakfast?"

I rolled my eyes, smiling all the while. We continued with our normal routine minus Angel who was off sulking and no doubt plotting in her room.

**_Hoppy_ Easter! Sorry couldn't resist. Review my dears!**

**P.S. Pirates pwn Ninjas**


	28. Chapter 28

"I am offended that neither group has taken full advantage of my expertise," Ella whined while Fang, Nudge, and I were holed up, hiding from the wrath of Angel.

"Oh, can it," I said. Ella looked a little wounded, but I had no time for sympathy. I was exhausted and had a feeling Angel was to blame for the three of us having bizarre nightmares lately. Nudge's involved getting her head shaved by heard of stuffed hippopotami. Mine centered around Fang running off with Barbie's voluptuous best friend Midge. Fang wouldn't disclose any details of what his dreams were about. He only shuddered and muttered something about Sam and a pack of garden gnomes.

"Well, I'd offer to help you guys prepare for what they're planning, but they won't tell me anything," she continued.

I rolled my eyes as Nudge spoke, "I wonder why."

Fang yawned, sat up straighter, and said, "We can't do anything about it until they attack, so let's stop giving them the satisfaction of seeing us cowering in your room." With that he got up off the bed and left.

I looked to Nudge who shrugged. "He's got a point." I sighed and the girls and I joined the living in the living room. Iggy perked up at the sound of our footsteps. Ella joined him on the couch and gave him a smooch I wish I had missed seeing. Nudge flopped into the recliner next to Angel who smiled sincerely at her. I quietly sat by Fang in front of the couch where Gazzy was perched. We all settled in and focused on the TV where Bones was examining yet another skull.

I didn't catch much of the show because Fang was rubbing circles in that spot between my wings. I admit my mind drifted. Angel cleared her throat and he pulled his hand away, much to my disappointment. I noticed Iggy and Ella looked embarrassed, too.

Soon enough Mom came home and it was time for bed.

* * *

The next morning I woke up early and fully rested. No bad dreams whatsoever. I pulled a sweater on over my pajamas and met Mom and the others in the kitchen. I watched Fang walk in uncomfortably. I met his eyes with a question, but he just shook his head.

"Who wants waffles?" Mom asked. She was, of course, referring to the frozen kind you throw into the toaster. Everyone raised their hand except Angel.

She practically shouted, "I can get those for you!" and rushed to the freezer. Mom shrugged and sat back down. Angel opened the door just enough to slide the waffle box out and then slammed it shut again. She quickly busied herself with our beast of a toaster. She looked over at Fang who was now squirming uncomfortably in his seat.

"Why are you scratching your butt, Fang?" she asked in her best (and most fake) innocent voice. Mom turned towards Fang barely disguising her disgust. He mumbled an apology and went silent again.

After we finished our waffles, Mom left for work. I hung back in the kitchen with Fang while everyone else went to get dressed.

"What was that all about?" I demanded.

Fang looked irritated and said, "Itching powder, _Max_… In my boxers."

I stifled a laugh and said, "Then get a new pair, _Fang_."

"It's in all of them," he explained gruffly. I couldn't help it, I laughed at him.

"Can't you borrow a pair from Iggy?" I said between fits of laughter.

"No! That specifically breaks the guy code. Thou shall not lend/borrow a pair of underwear to/from another dude. Besides, Iggy wears whitey tighties. I can't go back to them, Max. I just can't!"

I was just about to tease him mercilessly when Nudge entered the kitchen with a slightly peeved look on her face.

"Max," she began, but stopped herself when she realized Fang was there. She got closer and whispered in my ear, "Have you seen any of my bras?"

Fang gave her a weird look and asked, "How do you lose all of your bras?"

We ignored him and went back to our room. "We're not even the same size, Nudge. I didn't take your bras," I said as we walked down the hall. When we got into the room I saw Nudge's top drawer completely empty, its contents on the ground. Ella looked as confused as we were.

Angel smiled smugly and said, "It is a bit chilly in here, isn't it?"

It hit me then. I ran back to the kitchen, pulling Nudge behind me. I swung open the freezer door and sure enough, there sat every bra Nudge and I owned. I was still frozen (pardon the pun) with shock, but Nudge pulled one out.

"Stiff as a board," she declared as she tried to bend it. By then I'd snapped out of it.

Fang came up behind us and died laughing when he realized our predicament. I gave him a sobering look and he stopped at once.

"Can't you borrow from Ella?" he asked snidely. "Or does that break the girl code?"

"Good idea, Fang!" Nudge exclaimed and left to find Ella.

"That would only work if we wore the same size, Fang," I explained. "I'm going to need an oversized hoody from you." He left and Angel entered.

"You're evil," was all I said. She continued to smile smugly and stroked Celeste on top of her sharpied head.

"You shouldn't have brought Celeste into it. She was defenseless," Angel said, stopping with the creepy petting and raising her voice.

Fang returned with the hoody and addressed Angel, "Well played." She nodded curtly and left.

"This used to be my favorite one back when it was black," he said sadly as he handed the sweatshirt over. I quickly put it on then gave him a quick peck on the lips.

**There the genderless chapter be. I should warn you guys, this story is nearing its end. Any who, hope you all got fat off of your Easter hams. Yes, I'm a bitter vegetarian. You should hear me on Thanksgiving. Review, review, review!**


	29. Chapter 29

In celebration of Fang's clothes restored to their original black and my natural hair color returned, Fang and I took some time to ourselves.

A knock on the closet door interrupted Fang and my, ahem, alone time. Ella's voice rang gallingly through the wood, "You guys should wrap up. Mom will be home to pick me up soon, and I'm sure she'd just love to find you guys in there." She punctuated her sentence with a shrill laugh.

I placed my forehead roughly on Fang's. "I can never catch a break."

"You're telling me," he said and moved his hands from my cheek to my hips.

"It was just a suggestion, right? We've got a little time," I said reassuring myself and resumed our previous activity with a firm kiss to his lips. Needless to say, he didn't protest. In fact, we had a ball up until we heard the car pull into the drive.

I turned the doorknob and we unfolded ourselves from each other and the cramped closet. I quickly fixed my hair then Fang's (the boy is nearly helpless when it comes to disguising a make out session). I gave us both a once over, my eyes resting smugly on Fang's butt. He cleared his throat with a half smile, and we joined the living in front of the TV.

Mom walked into the room with Ella and said guiltily, "Are you sure you guys will be okay until ten because I can leave my friend's place earlier than that."

Iggy was quick to assure her we would be fine. Too quick. I eyed him suspiciously and Gazzy shook his head at me.

Ella raised her eyebrows with impatience and said, "We'll be late for my check up." At that, they left with a bit of reluctance from our favorite veterinarian.

As soon as they were out of the house, I turned to Gazzy, Iggy, and Angel accusingly, "What are you planning?"

Iggy piped, "I thought you'd never ask! We need you for this, but first we need to form a treaty." He elaborated on his proposal and stressed the urgency of timing.

I huddled with Fang and Nudge, occasionally peeping over my shoulder at our much-amused opposition. "What do you guys think?" I asked.

Nudge bit her lip and said, "I think we should take it. We're losing our pranking stamina and, logically, their next prank would most likely be directed at me. I don't care to find out what they could do to me. What if they screwed with my hair, Max? I couldn't take it. If you think they massacred your hair, imagine what they could do to _mine_!" She combed her curls thoughtfully with tense fingers.

Fang merely shrugged with consent. I personally was getting bored with the family animosity, and keeping Dr. M in the dark was growing considerably difficult with each new scheme. I turned to a smiling Iggy and said, "My partners and I will accept the terms of your treaty. My assistant, Fang will draw up the official papers by tomorrow. Then we'll discuss the finer details. Until then, tell us of this scheme for revenge."

We all settled in and Iggy explained their plot. It was brought to our attention that despite being one of the driving forces behind the prank war, Ella managed to get by entirely unscathed. We intended to fix that. After much speculation and revising, our Flock had reunited and settled on a plan for revenge on the two-timing Ella while Mom would be away tonight.

* * *

Angel scurried into the living room and warned, "They're almost here." We all grabbed our things, and Iggy, Fang, and I left the younger three at the front door. We positioned ourselves behind the bushes and waited for Ella to show up. Fang and Iggy fidgeted in the shrubbery in anticipation. They would have to be a bit more patient for this plan to work.

Finally, Mom's car pulled up our drive and Ella hopped out. She waved to Mom as she drove off. Ella passed by us unaware and I could see Iggy grip his weapon tighter. She opened the front door and entered the house unsuspectingly. I could hear the kids had completed their task because Ella screamed running and sopping wet out of the house. The kids bust out the door behind her with their water guns loaded and ready. They continued with their attack while us older kids brought on the big guns, literally. I cocked my paintball gun and aimed at Ella. She shrieked her disbelief.

"You wouldn't dare!" she directed at Iggy. He pointed his gun and pulled the trigger. The green paintball exploded on her torso. Fang grinned and shot her with a purple ball. She turned and ran. And so the chase began. My blue bullet completed the abstract picture on the canvas of Ella's T-shirt. Meanwhile the kids where squirting her with their Super Soakers and laughing all the while. Ella suddenly dropped out of sight around a corner, and we all stopped. Iggy turned suddenly but was still too slow. Ella jumped from behind a tree and disarmed him.

She made good use of her time and managed to shoot Angel and Fang in the back before any of us retaliated. Gazzy, ever the gallant bird boy, was a force to be reckoned with. He blasted her with a wave of water as his sister came at her from the side. Nudge was careful to dodge Ella's excellent aim as she targeted her hair.

I came up from behind her and pressed my gun to her back. "Stick 'em up," said Fang smugly. Ella raised Iggy's paintball gun in the air with both arms. Iggy retrieved his weapon and laughed.

"You think it's funny, do you? Well take this," and with that, Ella tackled him to the ground, careful to get as much of her T-shirt on him as possible. She jumped away with a good-natured smile, proud of her work. Iggy stepped back, newly painted and equally happy. Gazzy laughed and sprayed the both of them. Angel and Nudge joined in. They quickly emptied their stores of water and lost interest.

"I think there's Popsicles in the freezer," I announced. At the mention of sugar, the blond siblings ran for the house, fully wet and colorful. Nudge, Ella, and Iggy followed them in.

I picked up Angel's gun and Fang picked up Gazzy's. I noticed Angel had a little water left in her tank. I grinned deviously and aimed at Fang's crotch. He looked at the result (the appearance of peeing his pants) and aimed his empty water gun at me.

"That was cold, literally and figuratively," he joked. We headed back and shared Popsicles with the others.

**There she be. I had fun with this chapter. Have fun reviewing it.**

**P.S. I can't believe how many of you are vegetarians, too. Awesome!**

**P.P.S. Have a happy Mother's day. Give the lovely ladies in your life the extra something they deserve, okay?**


	30. Chapter 30

"Okay, I have the papers. Stayed up all night finishing them," Fang said and dropped them on the table in front of my bagel. I looked up at him, after frowning at the disgusting cream cheese, thoroughly impressed.

"You realize I was kidding when I told Ig you'd write an official treaty," I questioned.

He shrugged and sat in a kitchen chair.

"Well? Aren't you gonna read them?" he asked. I gave him a long look then began to read.

"Neither party will initiate conflict. Should this regulation be violated, all members must associate themselves with one party. Any breach in this rule constitutes a justified return prank…"

The paper went on and on. The pages were filled with similar legalistic mumbo-jumbo. It was all very thought out. I stared up at Fang, my mouth agape.

"Have you thought of becoming a lawyer, Fang?" I wondered honestly.

He grinned out of the side of his mouth. "Yeah, I thought about it. It's not really my style. Too much school, anyway."

"Maybe an author, then," I offered and he simply gave me his signature noncommittal shrug.

Everyone else filed into the kitchen from their cartoon (I tell you, they're absolutely addicted to Avatar: The Last Airbender). Iggy stood back with Gazzy and Angel, saying, "I read everything before we sign." Gazzy looked on impatiently.

"There's seven pages there!" he complained. Angel grinned beside him as Nudge and Ella squished onto a chair together. Ella nabbed the papers from Iggy and skimmed.

"What's this nonsense about having to 'associate with one party'?" she asked.

"No more double agent!" Nudge exclaimed. "Now you can't screw everyone over with your inside knowledge. I'm just glad you didn't touch my hair, 'cause then the fists would fly. I love alliteration, don't you? And rhyming, too! How now brown cow? Can you dye a cow's hair? I imagine you could, but only the tuft of hair on the tops of their heads. Speaking of cows, wouldn't you agree that cows have the most innocent eyes? I mean they put Angel's act to shame." We all watched her until she was done, Angel glaring with particular intensity. It's easier for everyone if she gets it all out in one go.

"I like cows best in my burgers," Iggy informed us. Then it was Nudge's turn to glare.

Ella smirked next to her and said, "Well, I suppose I could stick to one side next time. Another one is inevitable after all."

I grabbed a pen from the counter, and the solitary click sounded throughout the kitchen. "It's signing time," I announced.

Everyone signed, taking the document as seriously as if it were the Declaration of Independence. Gazzy was the last in line to sign, and we all observed his hesitance. He looked to me, and I gave him an encouraging smile. He finally signed.

* * *

A few hours had passed when I heard Mom's car pull into the drive. I decided to go out and meet her to see how her day was. I moved towards the garage and noticed Gazzy high-fiving Angel and Ella. After shutting the garage door loosely behind me I opened Mom's and she grinned at me.

"Hello, Max," she said, "Do you mind helping me cart in this in?" She gestured to a light-looking coffee table. I agreed and we got it out of the car. I lifted the table up the three little adjoining steps then rested it to get the door. Not even my hybrid powers could save me from what lay above.

I swung the door open and screamed as a bucket filled with goo crashed onto my head. I just stood there for a minute, soaking in the giggles and whatever that crap was. I lifted the bucket to examine the goo and let out another cry of disapproval. It was watered down oatmeal mixed with cream cheese. I wiped the crud off of my brow furiously, stopping to stare down Gazzy.

"You know I hate cream cheese!" I shouted. Only then did I remember my mother standing not three feet from me. I whipped around to look at her.

She didn't say anything. She couldn't because she was laughing so hard. When she settled down she wiped a little food from my cheek and licked her finger.

"This is good, guys. Did Ella have something to do with this? It tastes like her cooking," she said smiling.

Ella popped out from around the corner, grinning innocently. The others came to see the show, me, so naturally I huffed and puffed. I noticed Fang smirking, so I did something about it. I was pretty proud of the amount of oatmeal on his shirt.

"So is this the last prank of the season?" Mom asked. We all looked to one another wondering if she knew. "Oh, come on, guys. I may be old, but I'm not blind. No offense, Iggy." He chuckled good-naturedly. I continued to stare at that crafty woman. "I suspected for a while, but I was convinced when you got Max's hair and Fang's clothes. That was good." She laughed and left the room, leaving us all kind of stunned.

Ella was first to break the sudden paralysis by saying, "I told you she's a genius!"

"Diabolical," I murmured through the food on my face.

"You should go shower, Max," Angel said. "You look ridiculous." I snatched Celeste from her arms and grinned maniacally.

"You wouldn't dare!" she protested. I dared and kissed Celeste right on the pie hole.

Angel complained, "Aw, man. Now I have to clean her again." We all had a good laugh.

**There she be. I think the best endings involve a kiss, don't you? Well, children, 'tis the last chapter. Tears. Cue the corny but sincere portion of the author's note: this has been a wonderful experience for me. I hope it was equally wonderful for you as a reader. Review, my loves!**


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